The Rod On The Tot (Part 2)

I came back from work the next day expecting the cold shoulder from Faith, after Sunday's incident. I was prepared for her to be holding a grudge after the last beating.

How long is this going to be? I don't know.

Instead, she was happy to see me home. All that has happened has been forgotten and put behind.

If I am feeling the pain in the heart from the wound inflicted the day before, her smile was the salt, lime juice and tabasco sauce, all mixed into one and dripping on the wound.

It hurt real bad.

 - Voxeros

1. OLLie left...

Tuesday, 17 April 2007 4:07 pm :: http://ooohlah.lah.cc

Ay, it's normal de la. Usually after my dad beats me with the cane, I would forget about it the day after. Don't feel so bad ok? *hugs*

2. Gary left...

Tuesday, 17 April 2007 4:48 pm

different people react differently.. for me, i will just stubbornly never talk to my dad.. instead i will ask third parties to pass the msg..

3. akk left...

Tuesday, 17 April 2007 5:29 pm

isnt that a good thing? my parents will be pissed if i give them cold shoulder. it means i dunno i'm wrong yet. so they hit me again.

4. mht left...

Tuesday, 17 April 2007 5:29 pm

do not worry, this is the first time and it will not be the last. though as parents we try not to use the cane, there are times when too many chances have been given and the kid just 'went off the track'. having said that, dun be too 'cane-happy'. use it wisely and it moderation. too much of anything is bad! dun feel so bad! okay?

5. JayWalk left...

Tuesday, 17 April 2007 8:37 pm ::

Ollie: Well, the good news is that she has forgotten all about it. We were playing together today.

Gary: When you were stubbornly refusing to talk to you dad, why? Did you feeling that you did nothing wrong to deserve the beating?

Akk: I think ultimately the main idea behind the beating is not solely just to inflict pain but to reinforce a message to you in a way that you would not forget easily.

MHT: Hey dude. Good to have you back. Long time no hear. Hor seh bor? Anyway, I also don't want to hit the kid one lah. But sometimes like an errant computer where you must do a hard reset.

6. Gary left...

Tuesday, 17 April 2007 8:48 pm

i donno.. lol.. maybe what i did was wrong.. i just dont like to admit it.. after tat, it will be back to normal..

7. JayWalk left...

Tuesday, 17 April 2007 9:26 pm :: 

Gary: Ahh... a case of too much pride to admit one's wrong and then act blur the next day. ;)

8. akk left...

Tuesday, 17 April 2007 11:19 pm

aiyo...now u muz think i psycho. i not saying beating is just to inflict pain, i'm just saying that it's much better than cold shouldering because someone's little gal is willing to let go and admit wrong or forgive and forget. in time to come, u'll appreciate fully her inability to cold shoulder, which is such a powerful passive aggressive tool to use on other ppl. I hope she'll never learn how to do it or have someone do that to her.

9. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 18 April 2007 8:05 am ::

Akk: Ahh... yes... the cold shoulder. The Achilles' Heel of the mighty Akk. Yeah. Let's hope we never have to come to the stage of being passive aggressive.

10. Gary left...

Wednesday, 18 April 2007 1:25 pm

it will be wonderful if your girl wont show the cold shoulder starting in the family.. like that sure got alot of suitors one.. hahahahaha..!!

11. mht left...

Wednesday, 18 April 2007 2:48 pm

after changing two jobs within the last six months, m still alive and kicking.
'password protected'? what is the password? 'open sesame' ah???

12. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 18 April 2007 3:34 pm ::

Gary: Ah yes.... some guys are suckers for this kind of passive aggressive psychological abuse. Haiz...

MHT: Get online and I will yahoo/msn over to you.

13. Qiaoyun left...

Thursday, 19 April 2007 2:29 am :: http://www.sheylara.com

I feel your pain reading your entry. I think, intellectually, you know that most of the time, children don't bear grudges and they love their parents unconditionally, but I guess it'll always feel terrible having to be the "bad guy". But, really, try not to dwell on it because you did what you had to do, right?

14. JayWalk left...

Thursday, 19 April 2007 9:05 am ::

QiaoYun: The thing about children not holding grudges must never be taken for granted and most certainly does not grant parents the license to take this as a first resort no matter how effective it may appear at first lash.

I have lived through it myself and so have quite a few of my friends. As a person, most if not all, turned out pretty alright. As for the holding of grudge, I'm afraid the picture isn't as rosy.

15. Qiaoyun left...

Thursday, 19 April 2007 12:14 pm :: http://www.sheylara.com

Yeah, I agree. Nobody should be taken for granted, not even kids. But I think kids are amazingly resilient. I read about this boy who gets physically abused at home for years and he still loves his mum and hopes for love everyday. That's something I will never understand.

16. JayWalk left...

Thursday, 19 April 2007 9:03 pm 

Qiaoyun: Yes but to every person/child, there is a threshold. Like a rubber band where some are more elastic than others. Cross the limit and the rubber band snaps. It will be permanent damage that one will have to live with for the rest of their lives.

I ask myself. "Am I willing to take that risk? Wouldn't the price be too high, just so you can figure out where the limit is for each child?"

I rather stay way under the point of no return.

The Rod On The Tot (Part 1)

If you recalled the Christmas gift I got for my kids last year, I am sad to say that I finally had to use it yesterday. It was a painful decision but I had to harden my heart to do it.

The screams pierced through the quiet neighbourhood on a Sunday night and the windows across my front yard started lighting up like a Wheel-Of-Fortune word board.

It wasn't a one-off incident where Faith was behaving badly that sparked the hantam session. It was the accumulation of her nonsense finally coming to an over-boil.

It wasn't her defiance of picking up her shoe and storing it properly that triggered the thrashing session. It was the tantrum that she threw in her attempt to cow us into relent that tripped the circuitry.

No way, Missy. Not this time and certainly not with me.

I gave her a count to three to go pick up her shoe.

1... 2... 3... Faith still sat there on the floor bawling in defiance.

*PIAK*

Her first reaction was shock. She didn't expect me to really go through with it. Nobody tried to stop me. Grandpa and Grandma just watched her in silence. She tried to call my bluff and lost this time.

I gave her another count.

1... 2... 3... Still refused to get moving.

*PIAK*

She couldn't believe it. She told the worst was over after that last stroke.

Sorry, Missy. We have only just begun.

She then started scrambling for her shoe but was still screaming and bawling at the same time. She is still defiant as if I have wronged her.

I told her to get in the house. She stubbornly refused to budge.

1... 2... 3... Still sitting there.

*PIAK*

This must have gone on for quite some time and if I were to count the total number of lashes. It would come somewhere close to 20.

That's how stubborn she was.

However, while the first few strokes were really hard, the subsequent ones were controlled or missed her "by accident".

I bought 5 canes during my last trip back. I am left with only 1. The rest were all "accidentally" destroyed by the kids using them as a toy. Perhaps the ease of destroying the canes led them into a false impression that I just bought them for the sake of buying to scare the kids. I supposed Faith really did not expect me to really follow through with it. But I did.

What followed was a big tiff with the wife as I shut myself up in the Faith's bedroom for the night.
The lashes were no doubt painful, but it was I who have to bear the permanent scars.

- Voxeros

1. Gary left...

Tuesday, 17 April 2007 4:05 am

wah lao.. think your princess daughter will be crying for mummy for the next few days.. and the second time wont be that soon either!!

2. JayWalk left...

Tuesday, 17 April 2007 11:10 am :: 

Gary: She is always crying for mommy on a daily basis. I doubt if that actually made any difference. I really hope I don't have to do it again.

3. Marcus left...

Tuesday, 17 April 2007 1:28 pm

I come from a 'martial' family and when all forms of explanation and reasoning have been exhausted, the cane is the final answer. And I am glad to admit that I turned out better and stronger for it.

4. JayWalk left...

Tuesday, 17 April 2007 8:29 pm :

Marcus: Welcome to the blog! Let's put it this way, we were all brought the old skool way i.e. kena hantam left right centre when we were young and guess what? We all turned out pretty ok.

So how is it that this age-old tried-and-tested method be wrong and that we need all these new age fancy smancy teaching methods to replace the old way of bringing up a child?

5. winter left...

Thursday, 19 April 2007 9:53 pm

hmmm.. i am sure it's painful in ur heart to hit her with the cane.
i guess u can explain it to her in the later part the reason for the caning.
so tat she knows that she will be punished when she does something wrong

6. JayWalk left...

Friday, 20 April 2007 1:28 pm :: 

Winter: Well, I didn't conduct a debrief or something to that matter. I laid out everything up front before I start the caning.