Dumbass Of The Week XX

• Today Online (21 Mar 2015) - Student Identified As Suspect Behind Fake PMO Webpage

I don't get it.

What is with this obsession of being the first to report the death of a fellow human being.

Got prize ah?

Even if I dislike a person, I will never stoop so low as to wish for his/her demise.

LKY is a great man who has built what modern Singapore is today. Granted there are certain policies that I don't agree with (GRC remains a super sore point for me), I think overall, he has done a great job and kudos for dedicating his entire life doing so.

I tip my hat to that.

Anyway, I find it very distasteful to spoof a fake PMO website announcing LKY's imminent departure.

Bad taste! Bad! Bad!

I am glad that the police caught up with the dumbass who pulled the NOT FUNNY prank.

So, it is an offense where maximum penalty is a fine of up to SGD 50,000, jail sentence of up to 10 years or both, under the Computer Misuse and Cybersecurity Act.

As it turned out, the perp is allegedly just a gao ginah. This si ginah is not even 16 and so it's off to the juvenile court with him and not charged up the adult court? So quick question, does the above charges still apply to this si nongkia?

I'd bet this is going to scare him until he shat his pants.

Still, a fine, a prison sentence or both doesn't really fit the crime.

First off, if there is a fine imposed, who do you think will be footing the bill? The parents of course, since this sway zai bao is still in school. So to penalise the parents for the action of a dumbass kid seems hardly fair. Besides, it is punishment enough to have an idiot son.
 
Prison sentence? I supposed it'd be the Boys' Home for him given his age.

Wait.

Let's take a step back and look at this again. It was just bad taste with no real damage done. The country wasn't plunged into panic, the stock market didn't crash nor our neigbouring country(ies) declare war on us.

It appears that the clever and skeptically general public, sans a few #cough# Bruce #coughcough# weren't taken in.

So really.

No harm. No foul.

Besides, a criminal record would ruin the poor boy's future forever. Will we be too heavy handed then?

On the flip side, taking no action would be letting the boy off easy. What message would we sent to the rest, if so?

Surely, there must be a price to pay for his folly?

What then, would be the perfect punishment to fit the crime?

Perhaps to go into overkill mode to serve as a deterrent sentence, telling the rest of the people to think really really hard before they act?

I wait with baited breath to see what the court will come up with.

Whatever it will be, let make sure we make this stupid 熊孩子 brown his pants before anything else.


Image Credit: http://media.zenfs.com/en_MY/News/themalaysianinsider.com

- Voxeros

Singtel's Gushcloud Of Shit To The Brain

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• Today Online (19 Mar 2015) - Singtel Ends Relationship With Gushcloud, Apologises To StarHub, M1

I believe Singtel CEO Ms Chua when she dissociated herself personally from the Gushcloud fiasco. The listed company is huge and she is just too far away from what's going on the social media marketing ground.

This. I am fine with.

"as the client's agency, we should have known better".

This. I am not fine with.

As the agency's boss. YOU should have known better.

"I am leading the change and guiding my staff on the values and principles on which we will rebuild trust and confidence." 

This is my main beef. That sentence appear to suggest that this was isolated to just an errant staff or two.

Oh please. How big is this agency that there is a possibility that there are actually people untainted by this?

Oh wait perhaps there is. That auntie that comes by once a week to clean the pantry?

Maybe.

"...guiding my staff...".

Really? As the old Chinese proverb goes, 上梁不正下梁歪.

Gushcloud can close shop already. It is a poisoned agency that nobody will ever want to deal with them again lest, they be tainted as well.

Either that or I have been misled by Today Online's article perhaps sooooo badly written that led me to misinterpret?

Maybe.

Anyway, enough about them, they take up too much of my blog page already.

Coming back to Singtel. I am not interested in all the apologies to the aggrieved parties.

I am interested to see the legal consequences.

What would be the penalty that will be slapped on Gushcloud and more interestingly Singtel?

Both M1 Singapore and Starhub should sue the bejeezus (and the granite kitchen sink) out of both Gushcloud and Singtel.

Then there is the Inforcomm Development Authority Of Singapore (IDA). Let's see the number of teeth they have in their bite. Let's see how many volts they have in their Zeus' thunderbolt. Let's see how badass they are when they release the Kraken.

Ok. Ok. You get the picture.


Or are they as just as useless as Consumer Association Of Singapore (CASE)?

Let's wait and see.


p.s. JayWalk Online is proud to be a non-commercial blog, sans shameless pro-bono plugs and the occasional curry pok bribe.

Image Credit: http://news.asiaone.com

- Voxeros

Timer Traffic Lights

There is one of these timer traffic lights outside my place.

It will only turn red when someone pushes the button to activate it. Otherwise, it'd be green all day.

At these traffic lights, we have, typically, three types of drivers.

The first will begin to slow down when they see you at the traffic light, anticipating a change in the lights.

The second will begin to speed up when they see you at the traffic light, in the hope of passing it when it turns amber.

And then there are the third kind. The overly optimistic assholes from a long long distance away, speeding up when they know they have absolutely no chance of making it but beat the red light anyway.

So here's what I'd do. When I pushed the traffic light button, I will raise my mobile phone and point at the oncoming traffic.

Don't need to do anything on the phone. Just raise it and point it. Simple as that.

You will see cars automatically slowing down and stop when the light turns red.

Haha.

p.s. Never assume that all cars will stop when the light turns red. Start crossing only when the car(s) come(s) to a complete stop. No point arguing that you have the right of way from the hospital bed. Or worse, from the casket.

- Voxeros

Running

I love to run and am blessed to be living in the Punggol area where there are many scenic routes to enjoy.

The picture above is Punggol End.

The neighbour police post (above left) should be where the lone Shell Station of the old days used to stand.

The breathtaking scenery is just reward for an awesome run.

I have been encouraged to take up cycling but I baulk at the idea of splashing thousands of dollars on a bicycle and no place to park it, lest I risk theft by parking outside on the HDB corridor.

Don't even get me started on the clothes (my tummy and I look terrible in 'em tight spandex) and helmet that will set me even further back by a couple hundred more.

There is this organic element that I like about running. Just put on a pair of running shoes and off you go. Every single kilometer covered can be called your own. No assistance from any gears nor levers. You own every step of the way.

This morning's run was very good. I was making good pace with every km under 6:30 quite effortlessly.

Perhaps I should chart a new route to Punggol End and then from there via Punggol Road all the way back home. That should be a good 16km route.

Good preparation for the half marathon to come.

- Voxeros

Overloaded Truck Fail

If it were any consolation, it was a soft landing and nobody got hurt.

Oh yeah. And it made a busload of amused people very happy.

Haha.

- Voxeros

Miss Universe Freak Show

The national costume segment of the Miss Universe pageant is starting to be like a freak show.

I blame Brazil and I blame Victoria Secrets.

People must understand that only Brazil can pull off the Mardi Gras peacock thingie. Everything else would be a lame copy and WILL look STUPID at best.

Then we have Victoria Secrets with their huge angel wings during their lingerie show.

Now comes the ultimate disaster. Marrying the two AND slapping a national theme to it.

So without further ado, I present to you the Number One Guanyin-Buddha-Jesus-Krishna-OptimusPrime FACEPALM costume of Miss Universe 2014.

Miss Canada!

To tweet this in 140-characters or less.

It's a "14-hockey-legged spider with a goal post in between her legs".

Classy.

Real classy.

The only consolation is to this is that our Singapore one was NOT LAST.

Our Discarded-TV-Antennae-Found-Behind-Sungei-Road-Hardware-Shop ensemble was narrowly beaten into second place.

Damn you, Canada!! Damn you! *waves angry fist*

Oh and by the way, I think our stars long time never water liao. All starting to wilt

--> Click Here to enjoy the rest of the circus.

Image Credits: http://tomandlorenzo.com

- Voxeros

Sumo Moustache

We were at a red light behind this van when I noticed the sumo wrestler.

Sumo has a moustache.

Tee hee hee.......

- Voxeros

F-35 Joint Strike Fighter And Singapore

• Reuters (14 Jul 2014) - Pentagon’s Big Budget F-35 Fighter "Can’t Turn, Can’t Climb, Can’t Run"
  
• RT.com (26 Mar 2014) - Software Problems Will Set Back F-35 Joint Strike Fighter Another Year - Report

Despite the fact that MINDEF has never said that they will buy the problem-after-problem-after-problematic F35 Joint Strike Fighter, the word in the coffee shop, for years, has been pointing in that direction of the Singapore gahmen's unwavering determination to angkat American bola.

Then this came out in the news yesterday.

• RT-com (19 Jan 2015) - 50 Terabytes! Snowden Leak Reveals Massive Size Of F-35 Blueprints Hack By China

Dear MINDEF,

If you die die must buy the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter, may I suggest you try looking for it in taobao.com. It's probably in there somewhere. You just need the correct keyword in Chinese to find it. Confirm cheaper.

p.s. Do I get money for helping MINDEF save money under the WITS program ah?

Cheers.

Image Credits: http://media.worldbulletin.net 

- Voxeros

The Truth About CPR.

• Wall Street Journal (25 Feb 2012) - A Doctor On How Physicians Face The End Of Life

It has been a secret till this day that I think back of that fateful afternoon when Steven was rushed back to the office not breathing and not beating.

I was shrouded, ever since, with a cloud of self-doubt playing back that scene repeatedly and asked myself if there was anything I didn't do right?

Why was I not able to save him?

OH how I would have savoured the sweetest Tiger beer he would buy me when he recovers! All the plans to make him my bitch thereafter twarted!

For the uninitiated, I was referring to that one day back in the late 90s.

• JayWalk Online (03 Jun 2005) - I Was A Teenage Male Nurse (Scroll down to Case No.5)

That old article (above) from Wall Street Journal was a good read by the way but it was that one sentence that resonated a chord within me.

So many of us had gone through the CPR course but how many of us has actually put it to use in real life? So all along, we thought this would the the life saver as long as it is within 7 minutes of the casualty's last breath.

Nobody mentioned the grim stats of success rate then.

I felt a relief when I read that and told myself that it is time to let it go and stop kicking myself over it.

RIP Steven. We missed ya.

p.s. Just because the stats of success if less than optimistic, it doesn't mean giving up altogether. I would still encourage everyone to learn CPR. A 0.000001% success rate may still mean saving the life of that someone out there.

Image Credit: http://www.wsj.com; Flickr - Rickloh

- Voxeros

Ballast

It's a Sunday and this is the time I spend mucking around the house doing a little Tim "The Toolman" Taylor.

Today's assignment was the fluorescent tube in the common bathroom that has gone out the day before. A quick stop at the DIY store across the street and I had the tube replaced in double quick time.

A flick of the switch et...... nothing.

Aw... nuts. It's the ballast that has gone to ballast heaven. The old tube which I now suspect was still alive, was already disposed of already.

So armed with the new tube and the old ballast, I headed down to the store once again.

The tube tested ok and so it was confirmed that the problem was indeed the ballast.

JayWalk: (Showing her the ballast) 我要买这个. 这个叫什么?

China Lady Store Manager: Ballast.

JayWalk: Har? 我也知道叫 "ballast". 中文怎么讲?

Store Manager: 不知道.

JayWalk:  (Gives the "您来自中国不知道这个中文怎么说?" one-raised-eyebrow look).

Store Manager: （Gave back the "七早八早你是来给老娘添乱的是么?" death stare)

JayWalk: *quietly exit stage right*

TIL: Ballast for the fluorescent tube is known as "镇流器“， according to the description on the box.

Image Credit: https://thatssodad.blogspot.com

- Voxeros