Translate

25 January 2015

The Gospel Of Jay 2

Luke 15:29 - But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

1 Sorry to break the obvious to you dude, but you are just not the favourite kid in the house lor.
2 Fortunately, there are two parents in a typical household which means that you get a second chance, with the other parent, of being the favourite child.
3 But.
4 If suay suay both mother and father favour your other sibling then I am sorry that you totally lucked out.
5 Kwa Kwa.
6 Maybe go try your Ah Kong and/or Ah Ma?
- Voxeros

24 January 2015

Miss Universe Freak Show


The national costume segment of the Miss Universe pageant is starting to be like a freak show.

I blame Brazil and I blame Victoria Secrets.

People must understand that only Brazil can pull off the Mardi Gras peacock thingie. Everything else would be a lame copy and WILL look STUPID at best.

Then we have Victoria Secrets with their huge angel wings during their lingerie show.

Now comes the ultimate disaster. Marrying the two AND slapping a national theme to it.

So without further ado, I present to you the Number One Guanyin-Buddha-Jesus-Krishna-OptimusPrime FACEPALM costume of Miss Universe 2014.

Miss Canada!

To tweet this in 140-characters or less.

It's a "14-hockey-legged spider with a goal post in between her legs".

Classy.

Real classy.

The only consolation is to this is that our Singapore one was NOT LAST.


Our Discarded-TV-Antennae-Found-Behind-Sungei-Road-Hardware-Shop ensemble was narrowly beaten into second place.

Damn you, Canada!! Damn you! *waves angry fist*

Oh and by the way, I think our stars long time never water liao. All starting to wilt

--> Click Here to enjoy the rest of the circus.

Image Credits: http://tomandlorenzo.com
- Voxeros

21 January 2015

Sumo Moustache


We were at a red light behind this van when I noticed the sumo wrestler.

Sumo has a moustache.

Tee hee hee.......

- Voxeros

20 January 2015

F-35 Joint Strike Fighter And Singapore



Despite the fact that MINDEF has never said that they will buy the problem-after-problem-after-problematic F35 Joint Strike Fighter, the word in the coffee shop, for years, has been pointing in that direction of the Singapore gahmen's unwavering determination to angkat American bola.

Then this came out in the news yesterday.


Dear MINDEF,

If you die die must buy the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter, may I suggest you try looking for it in taobao.com. It's probably in there somewhere. You just need the correct keyword in Chinese to find it. Confirm cheaper.

p.s. Do I get money for helping MINDEF save money under the WITS program ah?

Cheers.

Image Credits: http://media.worldbulletin.net 

- Voxeros

19 January 2015

The Truth About CPR.



It has been a secret till this day that I think back of that fateful afternoon when Steven was rushed back to the office not breathing and not beating.

I was shrouded, ever since, with a cloud of self-doubt playing back that scene repeatedly and asked myself if there was anything I didn't do right?

Why was I not able to save him?

OH how I would have savoured the sweetest Tiger beer he would buy me when he recovers! All the plans to make him my bitch thereafter twarted!

For the uninitiated, I was referring to that one day back in the late 90s.


That old article (above) from Wall Street Journal was a good read by the way but it was that one sentence that resonated a chord within me.

So many of us had gone through the CPR course but how many of us has actually put it to use in real life? So all along, we thought this would the the life saver as long as it is within 7 minutes of the casualty's last breath.

Nobody mentioned the grim stats of success rate then.

I felt a relief when I read that and told myself that it is time to let it go and stop kicking myself over it.

RIP Steven. We missed ya.

p.s. Just because the stats of success if less than optimistic, it doesn't mean giving up altogether. I would still encourage everyone to learn CPR. A 0.000001% success rate may still mean saving the life of that someone out there.

Image Credit: http://www.wsj.com; Flickr - Rickloh
- Voxeros

18 January 2015

The Gospel Of Jay 1

Matthew 7:13 - Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road...

...1 for vehicles to enter the carpark lah dey!

2 Eh Auntie! You don't enter by the front gate lah. Wait vehicle knock you then how?

3 Please come through the side gate can?

4 No bring access card to swipe open har?
 
5 Nairmind, I here press button beep beep let you come in wokay?

- Voxeros

28 December 2014

Ballast


It's a Sunday and this is the time I spend mucking around the house doing a little Tim "The Toolman" Taylor.

Today's assignment was the fluorescent tube in the common bathroom that has gone out the day before. A quick stop at the DIY store across the street and I had the tube replaced in double quick time.

A flick of the switch et...... nothing.

Aw... nuts. It's the ballast that has gone to ballast heaven. The old tube which I now suspect was still alive, was already disposed of already.

So armed with the new tube and the old ballast, I headed down to the store once again.

The tube tested ok and so it was confirmed that the problem was indeed the ballast.


JayWalk: (Showing her the ballast) 我要买这个. 这个叫什么?

China Lady Store Manager: Ballast.

JayWalk: Har? 我也知道叫 "ballast". 中文怎么讲?

Store Manager: 不知道.

JayWalk: (Gives the "您来自中国不知道这个中文怎么说?" one-raised-eyebrow look).

Store Manager: (Gave back the "七早八早你是来给老娘添乱的是么?" death stare)

JayWalk: *quietly exit stage right*



TIL: Ballast for the fluorescent tube is known as "镇流器“, according to the description on the box.

Image Credit: http://www.comingsoon.net
- Voxeros

29 September 2014

Seeds And Nuts 2.0




Just when I thought the last time I had "Bird Food" was just a while ago, it dawned on me that 3 years have already flown by.

Wow. How time passes!

So anyway, during my last trip back in June 2014, I decided to pack more seeds and nuts back to QQland.

This time round, my mix is:
  • Walnuts
  • Cashew Nuts
  • Pumpkin Seeds
  • Almonds
  • Wolfberries
I did away with black sesame seeds as they have a tendency to get stuck in between you teeth and really ugly when you smile. I added wolfberries for its health benefits and also the fact that there was a special offer.

No pine nuts nor sunflower seeds as there was no stock that day.

As usual, all of them are unsalted with the exception of the pumpkin seeds.

The wolfberries are quite nice but I made the mistake of buying too much which made the entire mix tasted off. It didn't help that they have a tendency to clump together and so you can imagine when I bit into a big chunk of it.

p.s. Yeah. It was the same tupperware, I used the last time round. Still good and tight sealed as ever.

- Voxeros

Share It