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22 February 2015

Timer Traffic Lights

There is one of these timer traffic lights outside my place.

It will only turn red when someone pushes the button to activate it. Otherwise, it'd be green all day.

At these traffic lights, we have, typically, three types of drivers.

The first will begin to slow down when they see you at the traffic light, anticipating a change in the lights.

The second will begin to speed up when they see you at the traffic light, in the hope of passing it when it turns amber.

And then there are the third kind. The overly optimistic assholes from a long long distance away, speeding up when they know they have absolutely no chance of making it but beat the red light anyway.

So here's what I'd do. When I pushed the traffic light button, I will raise my mobile phone and point at the oncoming traffic.

Don't need to do anything on the phone. Just raise it and point it. Simple as that.

You will see cars automatically slowing down and stop when the light turns red.

Haha.

p.s. Never assume that all cars will stop when the light turns red. Start crossing only when the car(s) come(s) to a complete stop. No point arguing that you have the right of way from the hospital bed. Or worse, from the casket.


- Voxeros

21 February 2015

Running


I love to run and am blessed to be living in the Punggol area where there are many scenic routes to enjoy.

The picture above is Punggol End.

The neighbour police post (above left) should be where the lone Shell Station of the old days used to stand.

The breathtaking scenery is just reward for an awesome run.

I have been encouraged to take up cycling but I baulk at the idea of splashing thousands of dollars on a bicycle and no place to park it, lest I risk theft by parking outside on the HDB corridor.

Don't even get me started on the clothes (my tummy and I look terrible in 'em tight spandex) and helmet that will set me even further back by a couple hundred more.

There is this organic element that I like about running. Just put on a pair of running shoes and off you go. Every single kilometer covered can be called your own. No assistance from any gears nor levers. You own every step of the way.

This morning's run was very good. I was making good pace with every km under 6:30 quite effortlessly.

Perhaps I should chart a new route to Punggol End and then from there via Punggol Road all the way back home. That should be a good 16km route.

Good preparation for the half marathon to come.



- Voxeros

13 February 2015

Overloaded Truck Fail


If it were any consolation, it was a soft landing and nobody got hurt.

Oh yeah. And it made a busload of amused people very happy.

Haha.

- Voxeros

01 February 2015

The Gospel Of Jay 3

John 10:9 - I am the gate; whoever enters through me...

... 1scores the goal, for I am a lousy goalkeeper. 2My useless defenders sabo me.

- Voxeros

25 January 2015

The Gospel Of Jay 2

Luke 15:29 - But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

1 Sorry to break the obvious to you dude, but you are just not the favourite kid in the house lor.
2 Fortunately, there are two parents in a typical household which means that you get a second chance, with the other parent, of being the favourite child.
3 But.
4 If suay suay both mother and father favour your other sibling then I am sorry that you totally lucked out.
5 Kwa Kwa.
6 Maybe go try your Ah Kong and/or Ah Ma?
- Voxeros

24 January 2015

Miss Universe Freak Show


The national costume segment of the Miss Universe pageant is starting to be like a freak show.

I blame Brazil and I blame Victoria Secrets.

People must understand that only Brazil can pull off the Mardi Gras peacock thingie. Everything else would be a lame copy and WILL look STUPID at best.

Then we have Victoria Secrets with their huge angel wings during their lingerie show.

Now comes the ultimate disaster. Marrying the two AND slapping a national theme to it.

So without further ado, I present to you the Number One Guanyin-Buddha-Jesus-Krishna-OptimusPrime FACEPALM costume of Miss Universe 2014.

Miss Canada!

To tweet this in 140-characters or less.

It's a "14-hockey-legged spider with a goal post in between her legs".

Classy.

Real classy.

The only consolation is to this is that our Singapore one was NOT LAST.


Our Discarded-TV-Antennae-Found-Behind-Sungei-Road-Hardware-Shop ensemble was narrowly beaten into second place.

Damn you, Canada!! Damn you! *waves angry fist*

Oh and by the way, I think our stars long time never water liao. All starting to wilt

--> Click Here to enjoy the rest of the circus.

Image Credits: http://tomandlorenzo.com
- Voxeros

21 January 2015

Sumo Moustache


We were at a red light behind this van when I noticed the sumo wrestler.

Sumo has a moustache.

Tee hee hee.......

- Voxeros

20 January 2015

F-35 Joint Strike Fighter And Singapore



Despite the fact that MINDEF has never said that they will buy the problem-after-problem-after-problematic F35 Joint Strike Fighter, the word in the coffee shop, for years, has been pointing in that direction of the Singapore gahmen's unwavering determination to angkat American bola.

Then this came out in the news yesterday.


Dear MINDEF,

If you die die must buy the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter, may I suggest you try looking for it in taobao.com. It's probably in there somewhere. You just need the correct keyword in Chinese to find it. Confirm cheaper.

p.s. Do I get money for helping MINDEF save money under the WITS program ah?

Cheers.

Image Credits: http://media.worldbulletin.net 

- Voxeros

19 January 2015

The Truth About CPR.



It has been a secret till this day that I think back of that fateful afternoon when Steven was rushed back to the office not breathing and not beating.

I was shrouded, ever since, with a cloud of self-doubt playing back that scene repeatedly and asked myself if there was anything I didn't do right?

Why was I not able to save him?

OH how I would have savoured the sweetest Tiger beer he would buy me when he recovers! All the plans to make him my bitch thereafter twarted!

For the uninitiated, I was referring to that one day back in the late 90s.


That old article (above) from Wall Street Journal was a good read by the way but it was that one sentence that resonated a chord within me.

So many of us had gone through the CPR course but how many of us has actually put it to use in real life? So all along, we thought this would the the life saver as long as it is within 7 minutes of the casualty's last breath.

Nobody mentioned the grim stats of success rate then.

I felt a relief when I read that and told myself that it is time to let it go and stop kicking myself over it.

RIP Steven. We missed ya.

p.s. Just because the stats of success if less than optimistic, it doesn't mean giving up altogether. I would still encourage everyone to learn CPR. A 0.000001% success rate may still mean saving the life of that someone out there.

Image Credit: http://www.wsj.com; Flickr - Rickloh
- Voxeros

18 January 2015

The Gospel Of Jay 1

Matthew 7:13 - Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road...

...1 for vehicles to enter the carpark lah dey!

2 Eh Auntie! You don't enter by the front gate lah. Wait vehicle knock you then how?

3 Please come through the side gate can?

4 No bring access card to swipe open har?
 
5 Nairmind, I here press button beep beep let you come in wokay?

- Voxeros

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