I Want To Spray Shit Smear Wall - Audio Supplement

For the benefit of the Idaho-Russell-Burbank-Potato-Eating friends, here's the audio version to help out those who are unable to read/display/understand Ch1nese.

--> Audio Version Of "I Want To Spray Shit Smear Wall"

--> Text Version of "I Want To Spray Shit Smear Wall"

- Voxeros

1. aKK left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 4:29 pm

Five body throw floor....

2. faythxz left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 5:20 pm

hahaha 我读了hor dun understand but after 听了the audio version i also must five body throw floor! very "gao" (hokkien)steady boom bi bi

3. JayWalk left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 5:27 pm :: 

akk & faythxz: Heh heh... 开心就好!

4. Jaslyn left...

Friday, 30 September 2005 12:21 am :: http://precious-jas.blogspot.com

Papa J, u sound like you're reading news leh..hahaha

5. JayWalk left...

Friday, 30 September 2005 12:46 am :: 

Jaslyn: Acherly I am reading the news coz the blog was right in front of me during recording. That's why you dun hear the err... ahhh....

6. Jaslyn left...

Friday, 30 September 2005 1:51 am :: http://precious-jas.blogspot.com

But then it becomes not natural mah..

7. JayWalk left...

Friday, 30 September 2005 9:02 am :: 

Jaslyn: Yah. Bor pian. This is what you get when you script what you want to say ahead. Also, think about this, if you script it and you make it sounds natural, wouldn't that be lagi fake?

That's why all my audio blogs (sans audio transcriptions) are the real stuff cannot bruff one.

I Want To Spray Shit Smear Wall

(((((((((( In GB 2312 Where Available ))))))))))

最近 hor, 很多本地 Blogger 开始兴起用中文写 Blog 的潮流. 开始带头的就是那个那个裙下很多阿炳 (Ah Beng) 的 Blinkymummy. And then hor, Jaschocolate 也跟着流行跑 liao.

这样 hor, 我要不写中文 Blog hor 就会很 下雪 xiaxue sia suay leh. 但是 hor, 我的中文只有六点半 (half past six) 而已. Siao liao.

要我一口气 100% 写全部中文是没有可能的啦. 里面 confirm 需要一大堆 char par lang Engrish, Bahasa 和其他方言来帮忙. Arh bor, 就没有办法 finish lor. 就连中文的部份也没有办法百分百的标准. 可能还会用到我们北方联邦朋友的中文, 要不然这个 Blog 会弄到我几头痛.

刚开始 hor, 我知道会死不 (sibeh) kang kor 的. 但是我认为只要继续一直写下去，就会越写越 smooth 的. 所以我要告诉我自己， 一定要 发粪涂墙 (Spray Shit Smear Wall) 发奋图强， 把这个 Blog 搞到 Stay-dee Bom Pee Pee. 让人家看了对我五体投地 (Five Body Throw Floor).

其实, 给我这个 idea 的是 Precious-Jas 给我的灵感的. Tank Cue Berry March! 三Q!

按道理是应该给她先看这个 entry 的. 毕竟她是这个 idea 的老妈子. 但是 hor, Lim Peh 跟你们说， 爵士琳今晚没有空. 她跟她的 Baby 今天满月, 所以出去拍拖了. 要是她今晚没有"开工"，早早回家睡觉, 那这个 Blog 今晚就看到了. 接着肯定就会第一时间冲上 MSN 找我乱干了！

Wah lan eh! 写到这里，往回看一看，写到那么久才那么一点点. 写中文 Blog 真的是干死人 (kan si lang) 吃力.

其实 hor, 这也是自己找来的苦头. 讲什么要跟别的 Blogger 不同 pattern. 搞一个 char par lang rojak Singrish 的 Blog 出来. Haiz.... 真的是屁股痒。

我看我的 Style 应该是谈公鸡，唱首歌 (Talk Cock Sing Song) 吧！ 随便乱碰， 乱吃， 乱 Ump Kong，乱鸡胡. 哪像人家 Vandice 和 Blinkymummy 的 Blogs 还有诗句，可见得别人家的 Blogs 多么有文化水平啊！

此乃只是粗人 (因为我常常骂粗口） 一名。 惭愧！ 惭愧！

你们也会应该注意到我的 Blog 有 Engrish translation 的. 那是因为我有很多的吃马铃薯 (jiak kang tang) 朋友. 所以我需要在此给他们 welfare welfare 一下.

好了， 暂时就写到这里为止. Lim Peh 的手快要断掉了。 下次再见。 后会有期！

- Voxeros

1. milktea left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 3:28 am

since I suck in chinese, i have to admit reading this gave me headache. :) but I do have a better suggestion, write in english and put a link to babelfish to people can translate it to chinese.

2. milktea left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 3:35 am

I find your comment intriguing... 苦不怕， 不怕苦， 怕不苦 but find it beyond my comprehension... explain?

3. JayWalk left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 7:43 am :: http://voxeros.blog-city.com

Milktea: I think hor, with my Engrish hor, Babelfish will probably go "What the fish is this?!!?". Confirm Babelfish server hang one when it attempts to translate my Engrish or Ch1nese.

苦不怕 = Hardship not scared. 不怕苦 = Not scared hardship. 怕不苦 = Scared no hardship.

Just a clever play in words through rearrangement and yet still agar agar yield the same meaning. Putting all 3 will futher emphasise it.

What I wanted to tell Jaschocolate is that if you have the "I-can-do-it-no-matter-how-hard-it's-gonna-be" attitude, then getting through life would be a breeze.
有没有抓到我的球?

4. Chen Deneng left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 10:21 am

Well Done!
Since Ch1nese or rather Mandar1n is your working languang in Ch1na, it should be too difficult for you.

Kan tang or not, since you eat , shit and sleep in a Ch1nese environment, with time, yr Ch1nese wld be super solid liao.

btw, do u need to hv a ch1nese software to write in ch1nese ah? (always wanted to ask but afraid to! or else machiam look stoopid!)

5. AKK left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 11:03 am

I-can-do-it-no-matter-how-hard-it's-gonna-be attitude.....I have it! I finished reading from start to end and recognised all (most) of the words! TWICE!!! heheheh....this is damn Singlish Ch1nese blog entry siah...

6. chendeneng left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 11:44 am

人之初，性本善
can u read the above?

7. vanna left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 11:53 am

wah..
another classic entry which leaves me laffing non-stop..
*thumbs up*
hahahahaha

8. JayWalk left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:12 pm ::

Akk: Just keeping it real, my dear. Seriously, how many of us really speak 标准华语?

Chen Deneng: 性相近,　习相远. Read you loud and clear.

9. JayWalk left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:15 pm ::

Vanna: Ahh... thanks for the thumbs of support. Glad you enjoyed it.
But then hor, I kena comprain by the jiak kan tang peepur that they no understand. So maybe later lunch time, I audio-blog this for their benefit.
Stay tuned.

10. chendeneng left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 1:20 pm

tankew, i thot the next line shd be:
老尼姑， 爱。。
juz joking.
by the way, in order for me to put those few Ch1nese words, i got to open my Richwin 97, input the Ch1nese words on wordpad and then copy and paste the Ch1nese words here. so many steps. do u know of a shorter way?

11. JayWalk left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 1:54 pm ::

Chen Deneng: Software like Richwin are software left behind back in the old Win95/98 days.
Now WinXP and Win2000 have chinese features built in.
Watch your email, shortly. I will send instructions.

12. milktea left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 1:55 pm

ball caught.

13. hitomi left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 2:10 pm

Maybe uncle can start a "大家学华语" course for your jiak kan tang friends. "满月" got use lidat one meh? If read too fast become "她的Baby今天满月"... *LOL*
Sorry Jas... Happy one month anniversary btw!

14. Jaslyn left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 2:43 pm :: http://precious-jas.blogspot.com

Hitomi: Haha..I know. I was telling Jay about this "满月" thingy too but he insist that he's correct. So, ok lor. Hahaa.
Thanks for the wishing :)

15. JayWalk left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 2:48 pm :: 

Milktea: Ok. Glad that you caught my ball. Er... I think I am just going to leave it as that before my mind start heading to the sewers!

hitomi: Baby of course 满月 what!! :P

Jaslyn: Aiyah... I Ch1nese no goot, can? 有边读边, 没边乱乱 sian!

16. chendeneng left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 2:58 pm

peng you ! my cheapo coy PC still runs on windows98 and they install richwin97 in the PC. bo bian leh!
anyway, kam-sia for the email u sent.

17. JayWalk left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 5:26 pm ::

Chen Deneng: The only software in Win95/98 environment that can do ch1nese on the fly is Chinese Star (CStar) or 中文之星.
Let me check if I still have it.

18. chendeneng left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 5:36 pm

never mind lah, dun trouble you. i can live with richwin. not that my comments are all in mandar1n, anyway.
in any case, thanks for the thoughts !

19. JayWalk left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 5:55 pm ::

Chen Deneng: Acherly hor, you want also dun have. I can't find leh. :P

20. Lynne left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 8:36 pm

Wah, berry berry "tok kong"!!

21. jaschocolate left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 9:04 pm

老爸， “half past six” 应该翻译为“半桶水”。你的post 让我读的很累。哈哈哈。。。

22. JayWalk left...

Friday, 30 September 2005 12:43 am ::

Lynne: Abuden? :P

Jaschocolate: half past six not 六点半 meh?

23. Jaschocolate left...

Saturday, 1 October 2005 12:48 am

Yes, it is.. but in this case, you are trying to say that your chinese cannot make it mah.. so should be 半桶水. Must trust your daughter... :p

24. JayWalk left...

Saturday, 1 October 2005 12:51 am ::

Jaschocolate: Ok. I trust you. So my Ch1nese is half pail water? Ok got it!!!

25. chendeneng left...

Saturday, 1 October 2005 2:04 am

so is it going to half an empty pail or half pail water????

26. JayWalk left...

Saturday, 1 October 2005 11:45 am ::

Chen Deneng: Hmmm.... I am going for Option C as my final answer.
Pail too big.

27. chendeneng left...

Sunday, 2 October 2005 4:41 pm

this is taking the term 'lost in translation' into the extreme!

28. JayWalk left...

Sunday, 2 October 2005 8:15 pm :: 

Chen Deneng: My friend, this is merely the tip of the iceberg. More to come. Stay tuned. (",)

J-Files Case# 802.11a - Operation Burgundy Buffalo (Supplement 1)

Secret Location: WJX, 26 Sep 2006 1245 ZULU

We broke for lunch and my two local agents brought me to a nearby restaurant. I went "Uh-oh..." as I stepped out the car when I see a pictures of donkeys pasted all over the windows.

Yes, that's right, I am about to go eat a donkey. Supposedly a local delicacy here but I can't help but think if there was silent dissent below the ranks.

First, we were presented with the steamboat with the broth generously ladled with spices. The first plate was donkey meat, the normal parts (Picture left), and I took the first piece after letting it cook in the steamboat for a few minutes. It tasted quite good and chewy but I couldn't help noticed the silent snickering of the 2 agents seated opposite me. They must be thinking (silently, of course)...

Kiss My Ass.

Lick My Ass.

You Suck Ass.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, the next plate was, horrors of all horrors, Donkey Dong! Luckily they sliced it up before bringing to the table (Picture right) or I really won't know how to go about eating it, if it were one SINGLE piece. I'd probably grab it and slap the two agents with it.

I was silently cursing: Nin Nah Beh... kio lim peh Kum Bey Lan.....

Not wanting to lose face, I bravely took a piece from the steamboat and ate it. Sigh... Literally chwee tat lan.

As I was chewing it, I was like "Eh? Buay pai leh... quite nice to eat leh...." and then I did the unthinkable after stuffing my mouth with a donkey's dick.

I swallowed.

Siao liao... I think I going gay liao....

All these while, these 2 si nong kiahs sitting opposite me were grinning like 2 silly monkeys all throughout the lunch.

"Nairmind..." I thought to myself. "I am sooooo going to send the two of you to Tikrit."

- Voxeros

1. Jaslyn left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 1:33 am :: http://precious-jas.blogspot.com

Very nb de brave sia Papa J!!!!

2. Meepok left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 8:18 am

When in China, I typically don't want to ask what I'm eating. If it's in the plate and the locals eat it, I assume it's edible. With this philosophy, I probably would have eaten half the animal species in Singapore zoo. No wonder my IQ keeps dropping.

3. nadnut left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 8:54 am :: http://nadnut.blogspot.com

wahhahaa. so i guess ull definitely swallow and not spit. heh.
anyway, wats sio hoon kee ?

4. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 9:04 am :: 

Jaslyn: *sniff* Mouth no more virgin liao. *sniff*

Meepok: The old cantonese saying goes "If it's back faces the sun, it is edible."
Joke all we want but we also need to think how this came about. Perhaps it was sheer hunger and poverty that they were driven to eating anything and everything for the sake of survival?

Take this other story for example.

I have heard of this Cambodian business man who has a farm breeding tarantula spiders for his restaurant.

He was a prisoner during the Khmer Rouge regime back then when he was spared his life.

The condition however, was that he was to be abandoned in the middle of the jungle and it is up to him to decide if he is going to survive.

He resorted to eating the tarantulas.

When the Khmer Rouge were gone and he returned to civilisation, he kept reminiscing about how yummy the spiders were and hence decided to start a business selling them as food.

5. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 9:17 am :: 

Nadnut: Yeah... I think everybody should swallow and not spit...
.... donkey meat lah.... what were you thinking? :P
btw, sio = burn = smoke; hoon kee = cigarette.

6. akk left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 9:24 am

swallow and not spit!!! muahahaha....Jay! U and nad both made my day siah! fantastic start to Drudgery Wednesday, must stifle the sniggering in the office...wah lau...

7. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 10:20 am ::

Akk: I think I got the "longer" end of the straw. I kena the donkey. Oh the trauma!

8. milktea left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 12:31 pm

I once ate snake meat and it was quite deli, tastes like chicken. this is the first time I heard someone ate donkey meat. so how does it taste like?

9. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 12:42 pm :: 

milktea: Over here "秋风吹，三蛇肥". Next month, when the weather cools, it will be season to eat snake. Deep fried are the nicest.

Then again, no need to wait so long lah. I everyday also jia juar one.. kekekeke....

10. faythxz left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 2:32 pm

OMG!!!! or should i say Wah Lan Eh haha....i would never have swollowed that! i refuse to even eat the "ha ma la si"

11. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 3:54 pm :: 

faythxz: Wah lan eh is right! I couldn't have put it any better. Perhaps maybe simi lan jiao?
Ok ok... this blog is getting too coarse liao. ~lol.
p.s. er... What is "ha ma la si"?

12. chendeneng left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 4:32 pm

aiyo, 'yi xing bu xing'
any 'reaction' after eating that?
btw, i like the 'salty fried snake meat' (jiao yan she) too. beri, beri good!

13. chendeneng left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 4:41 pm

are you currently in north eastern china (dong-bei)?

14. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 4:43 pm ::

Chen Deneng: Bor leh...morning wake up still like that leh... I think if I wake up see donkey, I die heart attack siah. ~LOL

15. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 4:48 pm ::

Chen Deneng: ShiJiaZhuang to be exact. But come back liao.

16. Chendeneng left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 5:26 pm

ya, then u can go us of a to join lockson liao!
his 'horse' vs yr 'donkey'!

17. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 5:38 pm :: 

Chen Deneng: Hahahaha..... I KNEW that was going to come up sooner or later. ~LOL

18. Chendeneng left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 5:59 pm

i am too predictable for you liao!
must change tact.

19. The Hungry Bunny left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 6:05 pm :: http://thehungrybunny.blogspot.com

ewww. disgusting can?

20. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 6:44 pm :: 

Chen Deneng: It has to come out eventually (no pun intended). Glad you had the honour to let it out.
 
Oook... that did not come out right....

The Hungry Bunny: Over here, considered mild already... got lagi more ewwwww one....

21. Lynne left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 8:49 pm

Seriously? Wow, must try ... yeah rightttt! Next time, they will treat you to a owl steamboat, yeah, an owl, the one that hoots at night.

22. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 9:14 pm :: 

Lynne: Er.... tastes like chicken? I think I can stomach that as long as the bird don't stare back at me.
Bat I eaten before already and so I think owl can handle lah... Just don't do the hoot hoot while in the steamboat can liao.

23. hitomi left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 10:06 pm

eeeeeeeeeeeee..................

24. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 11:47 pm ::

hitomi: In all fairness hor, not bad lah... just need to overcome the psychological factor lor.

25. faythxz left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 10:28 am

it the lai ha ma (toad) sold in packs like ready snacks with the full toad shape and even the toes!!! i can handle frog legs cos u can't see the toes and the body just the leg but this is a full toad YUCKS

26. JayWalk left...

Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:19 pm ::

faythxz: Toad not poisonous meh? I do know that some of the native Indians of America used to lick the skins of a particular species of toad to get high. Some sort of narcotics for them. 

I think I don't have the stomach to eat a toad too.

J-Files Case# 802.11a - Operation Burgundy Buffalo (Part 2)

Continuing from earlier episode...

Secret Location: WTP, 25 Sep 2005 2100 ZULU

It was an hour before I arrived at my Tactical HQ disguised as the World Trade Plaza hotel.

Agent AP1: Welcome to GILA Tactical HQ. We have arranged the 16th floor to be your Ops Room.

Agent-J: Thank you. I see you guys have done a good job here. The hotel looks full. Better to allow us to disappear into the crowd.

Agent AP1: There is a Journalist Convention going on this week and the place is packed with them.

Agent-J: Ahh... the perfect cover for me.

Agent AP1: ?

Agent-J: I blogger mah... so I technically also considered journalist what.

Agents AP1 & AP2: -_-"

Agent-J: It's a joke lah. Not funny meh?

Agents AP1 & AP2: -_-"

Agent-J: May I remind you that your annual appraisal is due soon and I was wondering what to write... Perhaps I should recommend that you two go for the Whack-a-Terrorist Facility (WTF) course in Tikrit...

Agents AP1 & AP2: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!

Agent-J: :)

Secret Location: WJX, 26 Sep 2005 0940 ZULU

We hit the ground running when we reached Camp Burgundy Buffalo as I headed straight to verify my identity with another submission of my DNA sample (Picture left).

We set up all our equipment and went into the production lab and started tracing the manufacturing process from the start.

This is the drum where all the raw hides are tumbled inside to remove all the hair, lipids, pigment, warts and all.

At the end of the tumbling, all leather, be they black, brown or machiam like Gateway computer carton box, will all look like this. It's white with a tinge of blue. Perhaps this is where Cow Peh Cow Blue originated? The reason for needing to remove all the color is so that you are able to have a consistent colour with every piece. Just like having a fresh white sheet of canvas with every new painting.

This is the spray conveyor that does the colour magic.

In order to get Burgundy, we have to go through many process of coats. This brown here is the base coat. The first of many steps towards the final colour.

Once we got the final colour, it is sent to another tumbler for softening.

It's one last coat of sheen before hanging them up to dry.

Along every stage, we need to take readings of the color to ensure that it stays on the path towards the final Burgundy.

The very last reading is the most important as it will decide whether it is a go or no go. Delta-E at 0.88 is not exactly ideal (that would be 0.60 or less) but we deemed it good enough to begin mass production.

Mission Accomplished.

Secret Location: SJW, 27 Sep 2005 1125 ZULU

I returned to the airport where the local command centre was and  the wireless PDA sprang to life.

> *** START OF MESSAGE *** > Assignment: Accomplished and Completed. > Agent Status: Deactivated and Return to Civilian Status. > *** END OF MESSAGE ***

Hi, my name is JayWalk. Did I miss much this couple of days?

... Next up. The Supplement - My Mouth No More Virgin. Click Here.

- Voxeros

1. akk left...

Tuesday, 27 September 2005 10:59 pm

Brilliant post, man, esp the WTF... The whole colouring process is damn interesting also! So that small white box is the extremely expensive colorimeter? wah lau....
and what will happen to the rejected leather? throw away?

2. JayWalk left...

Tuesday, 27 September 2005 11:07 pm :: 

Akk: Aww gee... *blush*. Thanks for the pat on the back.
Anyway, when leather is rejected, it goes back to the conveyor to be corrected if the colour is too light.
If it is too dark, then the tannery needs to start looking for customers to buy the "new" colour, usually at a very heavily discounted rate.
This is why, we calibrate colour very carefully.

3. hitomi left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 10:07 pm

interesting! :)

J-Files Case# 802.11a - Operation Burgundy Buffalo (Part 1)

Secret Location: HMT, 23 Sep 2005 1530 ZULU

It was a balmy summer afternoon when the courier dropped off a wireless PDA at my desk. On it was a cryptic message.

> The witch bitch has a twitch itch in her snitch.

To which I key-in the reply:

> The meek deek has the cheek to sneak peek the creek.

Next the screen cleared only to be replaced with the confirmation message.

> *** START OF MESSAGE *** > Assignment: Approved and In Progress. > Agent Status: Re-activated and Verified. > Ops Code: Burgundy Buffalo > Ops Brief: Burgundy Buffalo's calibration has in recent weeks, exhibited an unusual anomaly in the spectral readings. > Ops Objective: Investigation and rectification. > *** END OF MESSAGE ***

The word "re-activated" means that I am back on active duty nominal roll.

My name is no longer JayWalk.

I am Agent-J of the Global Investigations Legion Attaché (G.I.L.A)

Without hesitation, I got my flight arrangement all settled with the help of Agent T.A.G.* and I was ready to roll.

Secret Location : CAN, 25 Sep 2005 1430 ZULU

Reached the airport under heavy police escort smoothly in slightly over an hour. Our directive to stay low profile was shot to bits with the escorts flashing their lights and blaring their sirens all through the highway. Then again, maybe over here in Ch1na, getting all the police lights blazing and sirens blaring IS BLENDING INTO THE ENVIRONMENT. Oh well...

I checked in with the G.I.L.A Briefing Centre and was met by the local agent holding my Assignment Docket.

Agent-P.M.B.: Good afternoon, Sir. I am Agent-P.M.B.** and I am your Point-man at CAN. Shall we proceed?

Agent-J: Hang on a minute, less do this outside.

Agent-P.M.B.: Sir, I can assured you that we are in the secure area. We have cleared the area and we are swept of all bugs. Do you suspect otherwise?

Agent-J: No. I prefer to take this outside in the open.

Agent-P.M.B.: Why is that, Sir?

Agent-J: Lim Peh need to sio hoon kee.

Agent-P.M.B.: -_-"

Once we stepped outside, I fished out two pieces of green film and stuck one on the roof of my mouth and one on my tongue, before reaching for my pack of Mild Seven and lighter. I lit up with ease while Agent-P.M.B. was struggling with the strong winds outside.

Agent-P.M.B.: What are the 2 films that you stick into your mouth and what high-tech lighter are you using that allows you to overcome the strong winds?

Agent-J: This is the Olafactory Atmospheric Detoxifier Film and this is a Palm Bunsen.

Agent-P.M.B.: Ola-what? Palm-what?

Agent-J: Listerine Breath Strip and wind proof lighter lah.

Agent-P.M.B.: -_-"

I offered two strips and my lighter to the obviously floored-with-awe colleague who thus experienced what is known as the "Super Menthol" hoon kee.

At about this time, another junior agent appeared with my access cards*** and my check-in process was completed. I decided we continue this briefing at the Command Centre****. My personnel carrier***** took us all the way through security and I had quite a bit of problem with the X-Rays as airport security was visibly concerned with all the electronics that I am carrying with me. It wasn't before I said the secret password, "Jee Gey Yarn", that they decided to clear me through.

I arrived at the Command Centre and due to the recent unrests all over the world, access security was raised several notch. I had to submit my DNA sample (picture left) and a biometric palm scan (picture right below) before I was given the clearance to entry.

After the briefing, I proceeded to make my way to our private jet. Our tRUSTY MD-82 was in bad but operational shape. The tatters of the door-sealing trim was fluttering to the dance of the winds while I could see that the pilot has decided to make do with newspapers as window shades. Sigh.... bladdy Top Brass upstairs probably dropped the ball on our annual defense budget again. Haiz....

As I boarded the aircraft, I was pleased, while at the same time peeved, to discover that my reputation has far preceded me.

An Agent-Under-New-Training-Initiative-(Entry-level) (A.U.N.T.I.E.) was assigned to sit next to me. Probably HQ's subtle way of telling me to keep my hands to myself. Nah beh.... I was so hoping to get a Senior-Liaison-Under-Training (S.L.U.T.). Now wouldn't that brighten things a little bit. No?

5-minutes into take-off and AUNTIE was really showing signs of an entry-level agent as she reached for the air-sickness bag, putting it on stand-by. I hope she pulls through. I really do. I REALLY REALLY do.

It was a three-hour flight and I was glad to arrive without incident. AUNTIE made it without the air-sickness bag. I think I was more happy than she was relieved.

Secret Location : SJW, 25 Sep 2005 1920 ZULU

I was met with Agent AP1 and Agent AP2 ****** who whisked me away from the airport into the darkness....

... Click here to proceed to Part 2.


Glossary
* T.A.G. = Travel Agent Girl
** P.M.B. = Print My Boarding-Pass
*** Access Cards = Boarding-Pass and Lounge Invitation
**** Command Centre = VIP Lounge
***** Personnel Carrier = Airport Buggy
****** AP = Ah Pui

- Voxeros

1. chendeneng left...

Monday, 26 September 2005 11:19 am

simi lai-eh
machiam like reading "the secret life of walter mitty"
tks

2. zeenie left...

Monday, 26 September 2005 1:59 pm

nice..... can't wait for the next part(s)!

3. akk left...

Monday, 26 September 2005 5:51 pm

hopes for SLUTs dashed....pity... :)

4. JayWalk left...

Tuesday, 27 September 2005 12:56 am :: 

Chen Deneng: Read on lah... so kancheong?

Zeenie: I think I will do the blog tomorrow. Too damn tired to do it today.

Akk: Yah lor.... I also say.... :P

5. vanna left...

Tuesday, 27 September 2005 10:20 pm

u very creative hor.. hahahaha
see already want to laff

6. JayWalk left...

Tuesday, 27 September 2005 10:46 pm ::

Vanna: Heh heh... glad you enjoyed it. Stay tuned for Part 2 and more.

Wah Si Xiang? Siapa Saya?

MercerMachine and his post started this meme which I thought was an excellent way to not only reflect upon oneself but also to share a little part of you with others.

More of the same can be seen via Tomorrow.sg.

---

I am that baby that was born in Mount Alvernia Hospital in the summer of 1971. My overjoyed dad was making so much noise that he was made to stand in the corner by Sister Superior.

I am that kid that almost set the house on fire by having tissue paper in one hand and a lighter in the other. I am that same kid, years later, that melted down my VCR, TV and the air-conditioner unit above in 1986, when my videotape auto-rewinder burst into flames.

I am that kid that started supporting Manchester United in 1979 when my boyhood hero, Frank Stapleton, was transferred from Arsenal for a then-princely sum of 900,000 Pounds Sterling. I am that same guy that grimaces whenever I get "the look" from others, after telling them my affiliation. Look, for the record, I didn't jump onto the bandwagon during the "glory days". Now get off my back!!

I am that kid that kena caned on a regular basis both at home and in school. I am that same guy who snapped the cane in two when my mom tried to cane me at the age of 20 while I was serving NS. I am that same guy that stopped talking to my mom since.

I am that kid that sprinted down the hill on his racing bike just so that he could see the speedometer hit 60 km/h. I am that same kid who had to bring the speedometer to the bike shop to get the needle unstuck after crossing the 60 km/h mark.

I am that guy who woke up at 10am and still made it to NTU for the 10.30am lecture. I am the same guy who had to drive 180 km/h that morning on the PIE just so I could shake off a Nissan 200SX who was chasing me behind for cutting into his lane earlier at Clementi Ave 6.

I am that kid who picked up golf at the age of 15. I am that same kid who finally got his golf handicap, 10 years later.

I am that kid who was so scrawny that my folks dragged me to Ipoh to see doctor and came back with 40 bottles of 肥仔水. I am that same kid that who became round round fat fat in Sec. 2 that I failed pull up, sit up, sit-and-reach, shuttle-run, standing broad jump and 2.4km run with a total score of 2 points.

I am that kid who after being humiliated by the 2 points, decided to train up and eventually ran cross-country until become scrawny again. 1.65m, 40.0 kg.

I am that guy who aspired to go to OCS during NS but got so disillusioned by Week 05 of my BMT that I aspired to be a clerk. I became a damn good clerk, by the way.

I am that guy who took 4 years to complete a 3-year course in NTU.

I am that guy whom everybody thought would be the last chee hong kia to get tied down. I am that same guy who is into his 9th year of marriage.

I am that husband who had to trade ironing of clothes for mopping floor, laundry and dishes. Damn loogi siah....

I am that husband who finally realised that he is married when Faith was born, 5 years later.

I am that dad whose heart was broken when baby Faith cried when I was trying to carry her for the first time.

I am that dad who finally realised that he is a dad when Faith hugged and kissed him for the first time. I am that same dad who figured out that Faith hugged and kissed a lot when you have a luggage full of toys. Haiz...

I am that guy who almost couldn't complete this meme coz somebody said it was pretentious and egoistical. I am that guy who was too bladdy lazy to see all these typings go to waste. So I am posting this anyway.

I am that dad. I am that husband. I am that guy. I am that kid. I am that baby.

- Voxeros

1. zeenie left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 4:46 pm

nice. i liked the bit about the 60km/h on a bike one, three of us did the same thing, only that we had one guy at the bottom of the hill with a camera, lying on the road to get a better shot of us flying down the hill at 60km/h. LOL

2. Lil Dow left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 7:25 pm :: http://littledowager.blogsome.com

eh.. i also from mount alvernia! high 5!

3. JayWalk left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 8:26 pm :: 

Zeenie: How about seeing you do this one as well? I like your Se7en meme. I am sure you won't disappoint me with this one, will you?

Lil Dow*: Wah... now Lil Dow liao.... nevermind the * stays. *high 5*

4. Zhe Bin left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 9:55 pm

I read beautifuk's entry too. And reading yours affirmed my view to do mine. = )
And I am so impressed lah. 15 you play golf liao.

5. milktea left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 10:55 pm

oh, you are so egoistical. :p
seriously, how can you make it to 40kg? that's soooo under the normal range.

6. JayWalk left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 11:35 pm ::

Zhe Bin: Aha.... so you knew who I was refering to. hhahahaha...
Glad to hear that you will be doing it. I looking forward to reading it.
As for golf, it's 20 years since I first pick up the golf club. Sad to say, I still suck at it. In golfer's term, it is known as L.O.F.T.
See if you can decipher it before I reveal it in my next comment.

milktea: Bleah!
I guess my under-weight problem was due to a few factors:
1) I started my growth spurt (puberty) around that time.
2) I discovered the love of running and the solitude of spacing out in all of the 20 minutes of running.
3) I figured that as far as girls are concerned, San Poh is better than Pui Kia.

7. Jaslyn left...

Saturday, 24 September 2005 10:13 am :: http://precious-jas.blogspot.com

Wow! Beautifully written Papa J. I doubt I can ever write something like this. Hmm..Well, maybe 10yrs later :p
I love this entry!

8. JayWalk left...

Saturday, 24 September 2005 11:16 am

Jaslyn: Alamak... mai ar nee kuan kong wah leh.... chor lang paiseh leh....
Eh... how about you also do one. That would be interesting to read too. Can get to know you better also?
Hor bor?

9. akk left...

Saturday, 24 September 2005 11:51 am

Priceless and beautiful entry. One of the best I've read. Thanks for making my day.:)

10. JayWalk left...

Saturday, 24 September 2005 12:10 pm ::

Akk: Ahh... thanks.
*Tao Dua Liao! Tao Dua Liao!*
Where's yours?

11. kIm left...

Saturday, 24 September 2005 2:06 pm

Does Ipoh have jian fei shui not?
Anyway, my dad still chases me with his cane. And I'm 19. But it's seldom that the cane lands on me la. Haha..

12. JayWalk left...

Saturday, 24 September 2005 2:27 pm ::

kIm: Jian fei need shui meh? Just exercise regularly and eat properly can liao.
Recently, I met up with a friend who underwent some "meal substitution" diet... OMGawd.... she looked damn good now man.... for once I am convinced that the particular program actually works instead of those stupid misleading ads you see on the mainstream media.

Let me know if you are interested to find out more, then I go ask.
Hmm... old man with walking cane chasing young girl around the house. Oh wait... wrong image. Oops.

13. Jaslyn left...

Saturday, 24 September 2005 2:59 pm :: http://precious-jas.blogspot.com

Wah..Damn chim leh. I dont think I can write out leh. I haven even do that Se7en thingy yet wor. I'm not so smart like you all lah...

14. JayWalk left...

Saturday, 24 September 2005 4:33 pm ::

Jaslyn: I admit this may take a while to do but the secret to doing this is not to write with your head. Write with your heart and the words will flow.

15. lady_jac left...

Saturday, 24 September 2005 9:26 pm

i really enjoyed this entry! maybe i shld do it as well-when i have the time.=)

16. JayWalk left...

Sunday, 25 September 2005 12:52 am ::

Lady Jac: Oh goodie. One more to look forward to. :)

17. nadnut left...

Tuesday, 27 September 2005 12:46 am :: http://nadnut.blogspot.com

i love this meme! me did one too!! ;)

18. JayWalk left...

Tuesday, 27 September 2005 9:42 am :: 

Nadnut: Yeah, I know. I read yours before I did mine. ;)

19. nadnut left...

Tuesday, 27 September 2005 4:08 pm :: http://nadnut.blogspot.com

ooh. never comment! heh

20. JayWalk left...

Tuesday, 27 September 2005 6:16 pm :: 

Nadnut: I think I would spoil taint your blog if I comment for the sake of commenting.
I think it is better to just stay out of the way sometimes.
Nonetheless, I like "I am That Nut". Cute twist to it.

21. vanna left...

Tuesday, 27 September 2005 10:24 pm

abit overdue here... but wat the heck..
i love abt wat u have written abt how u feel abt ur darling faith..
so sweet & touching... i like...

22. JayWalk left...

Tuesday, 27 September 2005 10:49 pm :: 

Vanna: Awww. thanks. I do hope that Faith will get to read this one day and understand what was in my heart when I wrote this.

23. nadnut left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 8:53 am :: http://nadnut.blogspot.com

hee. thanks! so...
wat nut are you?
lol!

24. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 28 September 2005 9:15 am :: 

Nadnut: Now that's a good question coz it took me more than an hour to come up with this response. *scratch head*.

I am a Macadamia Nut. You'll love me and hate me at the same time.

The macadamia is yummy and addictive and you just can't stop at one. On the other hand, I get stuck pretty easily between you teeth that will bug you to high heavens. :)

Gurkhas In Hong Kong

I was in Hong Kong for the night when I was writing this. As all travel-savvy persons would know, we never drink anything from the hotel room unless it has a tag that says "complimentary". Otherwise, it is a walk outside to the nearest 7-11 or any similar convenience store and buy the very same bottle of water for four times less.

So there I was just stepping out of a Pakistani restaurant for my curry fix, I entered the 7-11 to the familiar chime of "Ding Dong!". I was greeted with 2 kids running around, playing catching within the store. As I got my two bottles of water, I heard them speak and it wasn't Cantonese, which got me to look up at them.

Judging from their speaking tones, facial features and complexion, I would think that they were Nepalese, probably Bhanjas and Bhanjis as they are commonly known i.e. offspring of the Gurkha soldiers here.

The fate of the Gurkhas here is a sad story. The Gurkhas are highly respected soldiers in the military world and were brought in by the British forces during the colonial days. So much sought after for their services that they were not only brought in at high wages but they were also offered excellent welfare benefits for them as well as their wives and children.

It's been more than 100 years when Britain took Hong Kong and many of these Gurkhas today, could have been second or even third generation soldiers, serving Her Majesty's armed forces faithfully all this while.

Then came the fateful day of 1st July 1997, when the British returned Hong Kong back to Ch1na. Here are the kicks in the teeth.

1) Once Hong Kong was once again Ch1na, the People's L1berat1on Army is now the military of the land, which means that the Gurkhas are now redundant to the extend of not wanted by the Ch1nese gahmen.

2) British Forces based in Hong Kong retreated and returned to their homeland but did very little to bring all the Gurkhas back to UK with them. Think about it, I doubt if the British gahmen really regarded them as one of their own to begin with. Knowing that they would be treated as second-class citizens in the UK, many chose to stay behind. Even more so when the British government are bringing them in half-heartedly, which made many of these abandoned Gurkhas lagi skeptical of the gahmen's sincerity.

3) Staying behind isn't exactly a bed of roses either as not being Ch1nese does has its disadvantages here in Hong Kong, unless of course, you are a gweilo.

4) Soldiering is all the Gurkhas know and once that is taken away from them, What can they really do? To spot them these days is really simple. You can find many of them in Kowloon areas, serving as security guards.

From the once mighty and revered warriors, to that of a struggling security guard. Oh, how far they have fallen.

As a Singaporean, I have a lot of respect for these fearless warriors and I really do appreciate them for their services even before Singapore was born. They kept our homes safe.

However, I chanced upon this forum where the Bhanjas and Bhanjis in Singapore lamented about our gahmen not playing ball as well. I just hope that there is some kind of misunderstanding there but what do I know? I am just an average joe who had to go overseas coz average joe here cannot find work in Singapore. Sigh...

Anyway, to the Gurkhas, I salute you and I thank you for your services to our homeland.

Disclaimer: This is just my own personal observation and I concede that there may be a high chance that I may be totally wrong. I'll learn as I go along. I welcome those who are able to enlightened the ignorant in me further. Thanks in advance.

- Jaywalk

1. milktea left...

Thursday, 22 September 2005 9:39 pm :: http://headscratch.motime.com

honestly, i don't know anything about gurkhas. and so i'm thankful I read your entry. I am awakened.

2. JayWalk left...

Thursday, 22 September 2005 10:23 pm :: 

milktea: I am not sure if I am entirely accurate here but this is what I gathered so far.
I may be totally wrong though.

3. Pam left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 12:32 am

hey Jay, the Gurkhas aren't very welcomed over here either. there was a bit of an issue a couple of months back re Gurkhas, their families and the pension that they ought to get but didn't get... something about serving in HMS but not really...! buggers. sorry about not being able to chat just now - today first day back at work and all hell's broken loose. speak soon.

4. JayWalk left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 12:01 pm ::

Pam: That is the overall sentiment that I am getting from what I have read.
Anyway good to hear from you again. Got photos to show?

5. chendeneng left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 1:25 pm

wah liao eh! must put disclaimer ah? covering your ass ah.
nowadays, really dunno what shd be blog and what shd not be blog. *sigh*, so the best is dun blog, just comments lor....
wait! ...commenting in others' blog must put disclaimer or not har?

6. JayWalk left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 2:02 pm :: http://voxeros.blog-city.com

Chen Deneng: Bor bian.... these days anyone can bor tai bor jee kene sue one.
Just wanted to make it clear that this was merely expressing the doubt in my mind.
An open invitation to discuss and hopefully able to learn something from here.

7. Pam left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 5:48 pm

not yet - will get website details from photographer and email over. sometime next week i was told!

8. JayWalk left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 8:19 pm :: 

Pam: Keep me posted!

 

Treadmill 2 - 0 Jay

After my malu episode at the Gym's treadmill last week, I thought I was the wiser this time round. NOT!

This was last Saturday when I headed back to the gym in the afternoon and did my usual warm ups and stuff before stepping onto the treadmill. This time, I thought I wise up liao. Check master power switch got switched on or not. Yup. All the lights were blinking on the control panels in front of me. All systems GO!

I set a 5-minute brisk walk as a warm up first and then I set off to run the 2.4km to see if I can improve the timing from the last session.

After nearly falling off the treadmill, I thought this time smarter lor and set to 12.0 from the last session again....

WAH LAN EH! HELP!! SOMEBODY HELP!!!

I panicked as I struggled to jam the decelerate button furiously back to walking speed again. Regaining my composure and what's left of my dignity, I cautiously speed up again little by little and finally reach the speed where I could handle. 6.0.

6.0?? WHAT THE??

Question marks started popping out of my head machiam some Japanese anime like that. I should be improving if not at the very least stayed the same. Even a drop, due to muscle aches should only be marginal what.... But running speed dropped by 50% in a matter of 3 days? What's going on?? 3 sticks of hoon kee earlier on cannot be making such a big difference bah?

So I thought ok lor. 6.0 就 6.0 吧. At least, I am running and working on my cardio lor. So the distance meter started to inch forward as I pounded the treadmill.

The distance marker seemed exceptionally slow today as it seemed like ages before the meter increased by 0.01. At first, I didn't think very much as I thought perhaps it was due to the fact that I was running at half of my original intended speed. Ok lor.... so be it lor.

1.40?? WHAT THE??

By the time I reached the 1.40 mark on the distance meter, I was about 13 minutes already and my legs were all wobbly and ready to just surrender to let the moving conveyor belt to just throw me off its back. I slowed it down back to walking pace and decided to do the balance of the distance via walking, which would be a good warm down walk anyway.

Then I realised something strange as I was walking. I know, from my golfing (I used it to measure the distance when I putt on the green), that my one stride is 0.6 m which means that by the time I have taken my 17th step, I would have advance the distance meter by 0.01. But NO.... I took a lot more than that!

Then it dawned on me. The treadmill on the left is set to count using the Imperial units of measure (miles) while the one on the right is set to use the Metric system (kilometers).

Welcome to Ch1na.

Time for the supposed "2.4 km"? 22 min 50 secs.

NNB chow turtle.......

- Voxeros

1. kIm left...

Tuesday, 20 September 2005 11:37 am

Hahahahhahaha.. And you were so demoralized by it. At least you didn't deprove la. And no wonder you nearly fell off from the treadmill.

2. The Hungry Bunny left...

Tuesday, 20 September 2005 1:30 pm :: http://thehungrybunny.blogspot.com

rofl. i secretly have a fear of activating the treadmill for fear of malu-ing myself too. Just that i have never actually malu-ed myself yet. Start slow next time?

3. vandice left...

Tuesday, 20 September 2005 2:35 pm :: http://twiuc.blogspot.com

Wah lao... damn slow marn... how to pass ippt??? Uncle, got spare tyre issit? Betta let your caddy go lah... Carry some golf clubs to stay fit...

4. JayWalk left...

Tuesday, 20 September 2005 8:07 pm :: 

kIm: The best thing was that I tried to keep up with settings from the previous session without knowing that it was going to be a totally different deal on "the other threadmill". Sheesh.

TheHungryBunny: Problem with this threadmill is that it will gradually accelerate/decelerate eventhough the settings you keyed in was immediate. So you won't know right away if you were going too fast.

So it goes like this --> walking... walking faster... break into slow run, run faster... run faster... run fast.. what the heow?... oi! oi! oi! SIAO LIAO! SIAO LIAO!!! STOP!! STOP!!! STOP!!!! HELP!!!!!! HONG KAN!!!!!! NNB!!!!!!!!

Vandice: I have you know that the 3rd session when I went back to the original threadmill, I clocked 12' 20". 30 seconds shaved. 3 points for Cat Y1 IPPT. Mai siao siao hor!

5. milktea left...

Wednesday, 21 September 2005 1:04 am

my normal speed is 2.0.
i'm a baby turtle then. wahahaha

6. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 21 September 2005 7:31 am :: 

milktea: eh... 2.0 and 12.0 is too big a difference lah. Perhaps the units of measure in our respective machines are different lah...

7. akk left...

Wednesday, 21 September 2005 12:48 pm

uurrrr.....uuurrr....urrrrr....muahahhhaaha........

8. JayWalk left...

Wednesday, 21 September 2005 1:39 pm ::

akk: For a while, I was wondering what the "uurrr" until... aiyoh.... CENSORED! CENSORED!!! BLEEP!! BLEEP!!! BLEEP!!!

9. akk left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 10:27 am

ur latest entry too sensitive?

10. JayWalk left...

Friday, 23 September 2005 12:04 pm :: 

Akk: You refering to the Gurkhas entry? Yeah it is sensitive as it touches on race as well as gahmen of 3 countries. 

I know I am venturing on thin ice here and as such, have to be careful where I thread.

I also know that what I know from what is read is merely tip of the ice (no pun intended) berg and as such, my disclaimer states that I welcome anyone who has solid evidence to enlighten me further. 

I am most willing to hear more about it.

Dumbass Of The Week II

This one really made me vomit blood.

I was going to do a photo shoot on some of my products in our modest in-house studio and Ming was roped in to be my assistant (read: coolie) for the day.

So we met in the morning as I laid out my game plan ahead in order to get the shoot over and done with, in the smoothest and quickest fashion by laying out every task that they had to do before I come in and take the final shoot.

From lighting to angles to layout to order-of-shoot. Not a single detail was spared.

Coffee Table Sets were the theme of the day as I had several sets to shoot. Given that they were all similar in size, I suggested to mark the floor positions, discreetly in chalk of each piece so that we don't have to adjust the lighting each and every time we changed a new set, thus saving loads of time in the process.

At 2pm, the settings was ready and I was called in to take the final shots.

*Snap* *Snap* *Snap* *Snap* *Snap* *Snap*

6 shots at different exposure settings and we were done with the first set.

WHAT THE FUCK!????!!!

As the guys removed the first set, I noticed strange markings on the floor. Ming had used BLACK PERMANENT MARKER to mark out the positions machiam like the chalk outlines in the homicide crime scene.

FUCKING IDIOT!!!!!!

I was soooooo seething with anger that I let fly a tirade that would even make a pirate blush.

The whole bladdy shoot was halted as Ming scrambled for solvents and rags to start scrubbing the floor. As a result, the shoot was delayed by more than an hour. Granted that the black markings are no longer there, I now had to deal with white scrub marks the made the similar route of the marker outlines. (Click to enlarge)

Sigh.... I give up!

My hopes for a good photoshoot was thrown out of the window as I continued with the rest of shoot, sian-halved, and calling it a wrap shortly after.

Fucking idiot....

- Voxeros

1. nadnut left...

Monday, 19 September 2005 12:38 am :: http://nadnut.blogspot.com

lol. i pity ming. he must have kena left right centre from you...

2. Jaslyn left...

Monday, 19 September 2005 2:01 am :: http://precious-jas.blogspot.com

Hahaha...Fly me and Jon there. We help u take lah. Hahaa..

3. JayWalk left...

Monday, 19 September 2005 7:28 am :: 

nadnut: I think you should be pitying me for having to put up with such stupidity.

Jaslyn: If I can afford professional help, you think I would still be doing this myself? Buay sai lah.... :)

4. The Hungry Bunny left...

Monday, 19 September 2005 9:03 am :: http://thehungrybunny.blogspot.com

Oh dear, i hate it when people mix up temporary and permanent markers on a whiteboard too. Because the aftermath of it makes me smell like an alcoholic.

5. nadnut left...

Monday, 19 September 2005 9:24 am :: http://nadnut.blogspot.com

lol. true. ;)

6. JayWalk left...

Monday, 19 September 2005 9:50 am :: 

TheHungryBunny: Mixing that up would have been alright with me. What really riled me up was that I specifically asked for chalk.
His excuse was that he couldn't find chalk.
All I did was walked out of my office to the security guardhouse (15m away) and took a piece from the chalk notice board.
At that point, I soooooo wanted to smack his head inside out.

nadnut: Well at least it won't be a big headache when I do their appraisals and earmarked the next guy for promotion to team leader.
It won't be this guy for sure.

7. Chen Deneng left...

Monday, 19 September 2005 10:08 am

'sounds very familiar'
Cool Down!
Such, is the 'joy' of working in Ch1na
I share your sentiments! The Cheenas nvr seem to be able to take instructions.

8. JayWalk left...

Monday, 19 September 2005 10:19 am ::

Chen Deneng: "Joy" indeed!
It is not that they dunno how to take instructions but rather that prefer to do as they please.
In the western world, the term for it would have been "Smart Ass".
Here's the beauty of this entire thing. When his own "smart ass" plan backfired, this idiot will be scrambling to come up with all sorts of excuses and finger pointing. Anything and everything, except to admit their own mistakes.
Chor lim peh lagi doo lan.....

9. lancerlord left...

Monday, 19 September 2005 1:12 pm :: http://lancerlord.blogspot.com

You sian-halved? Given me in the same situation, I sian all the way. Want to scold also no strength to scold.

10. JayWalk left...

Monday, 19 September 2005 1:25 pm ::

lancerlord: Bor pian, cannot sian all the way coz ultimately it is still you who would have to complete the shoot.
So can only sian-half coz need other half to get it done and over with.

11. akk left...

Monday, 19 September 2005 2:19 pm

relac siah.....take deep breaths...i'll also scream if somebody abuses the floor like that in a shoot....

12. JayWalk left...

Monday, 19 September 2005 2:38 pm :: 

akk: If only I could be like my Encik during NS time, take the bladdy kevlar helmet and POK him on the head goot goot one time.....

Being Preoccupied - Not Just The Guys?

Research has shown that men would think about sex once every 6 seconds consciously and sub-consciously. That kinda gives us the impression that the mind of the male gender is genetically hard-coded to be pre-occupied with it. In a way, it puts us males in a "not-so-good" light but as I have often said, "习惯了".

I was chatting with a friend, JD, when we stumbled onto a simlar topic but on the opposite bank of the gender spectrum. Below is the extract of our conversation....

Session Start (JD): Tue Sep 13 15:29:01 2005 [15:43] JD: i write wat every woman fears to say out loud.:) [15:43] JD: the preoccupation with sex and all things sexual. [15:44] JayWalk: are women really THAT preoccupied with it? i thot only guys. [15:44] JD: the need for fairytales in one's life [15:44] JD: u'll be surprised lah... [15:44] JD: actually SPG pretty is much a woman without control. [15:44] JayWalk: enlighten me then. [15:45] JD: she's really honest, abt sex and money and yet contrary and fearful abt how others perceive her to be [15:46] JD: for example, money for sex, she gets insulted, but feel free to buy and pay for her when she goes out with u. essentially is the same thing, but diff meaning to her [15:46] JD: to all women, we are too bound by what others think of us. [15:46] JD: so the preoccupation is to hide our feelings [15:46] JD: every time certain feelings seem to be morally wrong [15:47] JayWalk: so essentially, you guys read her because you wanted to live her life and yet remain in the safety of your own. [15:50] JD: so if u ask me, if u find some women seem to be a bit tense or too prudish, they are just being scared to be ever put in a similar situation where their conscience can be questioned.

I was quite surprised to learn that we (the males) are "not alone" in this. Then again, this could just be the sole representation of JD herself rather than the whole of womanhood.

Perhaps we are same in the sense that we all are preoccupied with it, while at the same time different due to our angles of approach?

This is an open-ended entry inviting your two-cents' worth to bring more light this age-old issue. Your comments, please.

- Voxeros

1. Lynne left...

Saturday, 17 September 2005 2:40 am

I totally agree with JD's view on how women perceive sex and everything sexual. Be a little prudish, we get classified as "old maid", "old-fashioned". Be a little more open-minded, we get classified as "loose", "slut". Men, no matter what, will never fall into those categories. I supppose it also depends on the people we "expose" (not literally) ourselves too. If it's somebody we know and trust, then being a little more open-minded is fine. But if it's to the public, then it definitely doesn't hurt to be more cautious. Whatever it is, think before you act lor.

2. JayWalk left...

Saturday, 17 September 2005 9:04 am ::

Lynne: You women had it easier. For guys, be it prudish or otherwise, guys still kena labeled as "Horny Bastards".
sigh.......

3. akk left...

Saturday, 17 September 2005 12:42 pm

ay, i posted comment, but never appear leh....anyways, just to say not all men are labeled 'horny bastards' seriously, hehehe....most my guy frens are more monkish than us girls...

4. a crunchy green apple left...

Sunday, 18 September 2005 12:33 am

Try as i might, i simply cannot imagine myself having SPG's lifestyle. I doubt i can walk more than a mile in her shoes. It's not self-righteousness or being "prudish", maybe it's the upbringing, the innate personality, the different experiences of growing up that shape me- whatever- i've never been attracted to SPG's lovelife and "adventures". So with that, i really don't think that *all* of the women out there share the same 'honest' perspective towards love, sex and money.
Phew.

5. JayWalk left...

Sunday, 18 September 2005 8:00 am :: 

Akk: I believe your guy friends are just being nice and turn off the "horny mode" for your sake for the time being.

Crunchy Green Apple: I am thinking more along your line but I wanted to see how other people see this. So far response hasn't been good. Perhaps it was the weekend or perhaps it is just too cheem?
So as it stands, the score is
AYE 1 - 1 NAY

6. Laughingcow left...

Sunday, 18 September 2005 11:24 pm

One woman's opinion should never be taken as a sweeping generalisation of the group. :) I don't discuss sex (well, not in the way SPG does; obviously I'm discussing it here, heh) not for fear of public opinion, but because sex, to me, is more beautiful as a secret shared by two lovers. :)

7. a crunchy green apple left...

Sunday, 18 September 2005 11:27 pm :: http://greenappledelight.blogspot.com

Perhaps it's a little of both, or that it's a "sensitive" issue. Sometimes, it's just laziness on the reader's part. ;) Maybe you can elaborate on this rather cheam post of yours to trick-i mean invite- your lady readers to open up more.

8. JayWalk left...

Sunday, 18 September 2005 11:35 pm ::

Laughingcow: Nicely put. Aye 1 - 2 Nay. 

CrunchyGreenApple: Trick? hahaha..... Nah. I shall leave this as it is. Don't wanna turn this into a Cosmo blog, do we?