08 September 2015

SG Elections 2015 - Part 1

We are mid-way through the election hustings and it is time for me to punt the outcomes of the various electoral battles. Some will be close. Some will be one-sided. Some will be unexpected and lastly there'd be one or two to return with empty pockets.

Let's start from big constituencies to small.

1. Ang Mo Kio GRC

If VR Man, Vietnamese Bride, Banana Boy and that CREEPY-Looking Auntie (standing behind VR Man and Ravi) were to join forces with M "PA... Reform Party" Ravi and Roy "CPF" Ngerng, it would have been the ultimate dream team pummeling Lee Hsien Loong and his team to a pulp with a landslide victory. (Tharman for PM?)

Alas, it was not to be for VR Man is missing, Vietnamese Bride was dumped, Banana Boy is underaged and Creepy Auntie is well...... creepy.

What a let off for Lee Hsien Loong & Co.! Team LHL was never really tested in the past with walk-overs and contested only in the last 2 elections, where he came in at 66% and later improved to 69%.

I foresee Team LHL doing very well this time round and likely be able to breach the 70% mark.

Tharman will have to wait another 5 years to see if he got chance to be PM or not.

2. Pasir Ris-Punggol GRC

I think it'd be third time lucky for Desmond Lim for once, he gets to keep his deposit. Yay!

This ward is no contest as it'd be a thumping victory for PAP to give their thumbs up for Janil Puthucheary who volunteered for national service. For Sun XueLing where she refreshed our memories that there was a time when we have hanyupinyin names (in brackets) in addition to our regular name. For Teo Ser Luck who is forgiven for his LKY91 antics falling flat.

3. Aljunied GRC

The fact that PAP is too chicken to send in a Minister to anchor this team is evidence that they are still smarting from the expensive lesson dished out to them during the last election.

With a bunch of noobs, we are reminded of the time back in 2011 when Reform Party sent in a squad of unknowns, only to walk away with nearly 50,000 votes from LHL's AMK GRC. This time round, it will be the reverse. PAP will stage a credible fight and walk away with a handful of votes. However, it won't be enough to wrestle Aljunied GRC back to PAP.

The fact that PAP sticks such a tiny wager on this bet is evidence that the almighty folks in white has already waved the white flag (no pun intended).

I was thinking why not send in Goh Chok Tong to lead the charge? Surely the senior statesman Goh has the mojo to deliver Aljunied back to PAP? If fail, the country saves $1 million per year (win-win!) but don't be too happy yet, he sure come back as President after that one lor (dammit!).

WP to return as victors while continuing to make sense of their financial numbers.

4. Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC

People joked about how to tell who is from DPP and who from SPP in this joint-opposition team.

Answer? Got Hair and No Hair.

With Wong Kan Seng put out to pasture, PAP stands a better chance in this hotly-contested ward even though the new faces in the team has yet to impress (the Tiger Woods fist pump do until really siah suay). Still, I think chiobu Josephine Teo and Ng Eng Hen should nick this and come back for another 5 years.

5. Jurong GRC

Tharman for PM!! Enough said.

And SingFirst is a joke.. Enough enough said.

6. Marine Parade GRC

Marine Paraders love their ESM Goh (heng ah. never kena posted to Aljunied) and Tan Chuan Jin has fared well too. No chiobu Nicole Seah means opposition don't stand a chance. Lao Goh to return with votes in the 70% range. Mrs Goh would be most happy to be able to afford more peanuts hereon.

7. Nee Soon GRC

Too bad, it's the wrong Gurmit Singh. Had it been Phua Chu Kang, the yellow-boot one would have won outright, bringing Nee Soon, Johor Bahru and some say Batam back to Worker's Party.

PAP to win this one with Lee Bee Wah, the surprising superstar, stealing the show from Shanmugam.

8. Sembawang GRC

I suspect the reason NSP did not announce their candidates at time of Writ Of Elections is because they haven't found enough people to fill up the slots. (If people find out, very malu lor.) With the party imploding and key members mass exodus, NSP, from the days where people were starting to take them a bit more seriously with Goh Meng Seng and Nicole Seah, is now just another clown show.

They are trying to replicate their Nicole Seah success with another yew kee (幼齿), Kevryn Lim, but sequels, as we all know, are never as good as their predecessors.

PAP to win by default.

9. Tampines GRC
That was one powerful speech so much so that he single-handedly hands victory to the PAP.

I say before, let us not make fun of those whose master of the English language is not as good. Hear what the person has to say. Not mock him.

In this case, whatever he was trying to say, nobody understood lor. I am sure it triggered several "SMLJ?" blank looks from the floor.

PAP to win with Baey Yam Keng, making all the aunties sploosh.

10. Tanjong Pagar GRC

This is the first ever LKY-less contest for the ward. The new candidates must be kicking themselves for not signing up earlier. This time round no more 100% guarantee plus chop sure win liao.

Luckily for them, their opposition this time will not amount to anything.

PAP to sail through with Indranee 好好嘢!!

--> Click Here To Proceed To Part 2

--> Click Here To Proceed To Part 3

Image Credits:;;

- Voxeros

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