02 October 2005

Fellowship Of The Rings - JayWalk's Style

Ok enough of the funny stuff for a while as I get down to something a little bit more subdued.

I was chatting with AKK and we touched on the topic of friends and I realised I have heck of a LOT of them. During my partying days, bumping into over a hundred friends in a single night at Zouk or Mohd Sultan is pretty much a common thing for me.

Anyway, this is not what this blog is all about. I apologise if you have been misled into this thinking that this is the blog of an arrogant bastard of a braggart.

Actually, AKK got me thinking about my friends and where they stand in my life, which led me into coming up with some sort of a theory.

Hence, allow me to present to you The Ten Rings Of Fellowship.

Imagine a dart board of concentric circles. Now look at the red bull's eye right in the middle. That's you.

The First Ring, which is immediately outside the bull's eye, is where your closet core friends are. They are the type of friends who would take a bullet for you and vice versa. They are the type that you would raise their children if they unexpectedly die and of course, vice versa.

The Second Ring are those whom you connect at the heart-to-heart level. Quite a few people here as we confide our deepest thoughts and secrets to each other. Strictest confidence is kept voluntarily here.

The Third Ring are those who are good friends and you are really glad to see and hang around with. Whenever there is something going on, like a party or a gathering, you would definitely save a place for them. However, as for the matters of the heart, it is still at arm's length.

The Fourth Ring are those you always hang out with but without needing to make an effort to meet up. These are the folks you see on a regular basis e.g. your lunch gang at work or the clique within the office. Your niche group in sunday's church etc. We take being together for granted no effort is made since everybody is going to be there anyway. When you are together, everybody has a great time but when the event is over e.g. after work, then everybody goes about their separate lives.

The Fifth Ring are just normal friends, that most of the time, you meet somewhere and go "Hey long time no see! How are you? We must meet for lunch some day!" and you did.

The Sixth Ring is the same as Fifth except that the "Hey long time no see! How are you? We must meet for lunch some day!" but never did. And the next time when you meet up again, the same thing repeats.

The Seventh Ring are the acquaintances. You know each other but that's about it. The only time you guys hang together is when there is no one else. e.g. at a wedding where you are a total stranger at your table and so is he/she.

The Eight Ring are the people whom they know you but you don't know them. Likewise for the opposite direction where you know who they are but they don't know who you are.

The Ninth Ring are the so-called friends of friends. For example, you are at this party and your host introduced the two of you like "Hey Jay, this is Chris. Chris, this is Jay". You established a temporary friendship at the time which may be over and back to strangers as soon as the party is over.

And finally the Tenth Ring where these are the people where the friendship has soured or drifted too far away. Messy break-up ex-girlfriends are the common people in this ring. So are those whom you had a bad argument with and vowed never to speak to each other again.

So there. My Ten Rings of Fellowship. On top of that, there is an added dimension to these rings and that is the depth of which each friend resides on that ring. Obviously the longer you stayed at a certain ring the deeper you will be entrenched into that ring and also there is that opportunity to moving up or down a ring or two. However, there is also the possibility of getting too entrenched in a particular ring that both parties become complacently comfortable in that ring that they are stuck there forever.

Mostly, a person would start from the outside and slowly work their way in. However, with the introduction of blog and the blogo-community. There is a shortcut. That is the one thing I like about the blogging community and that is that it can be that ladder in the game "Snakes and Ladders" and cut right through the rings and go straight for the inner circles.

Because of the fact that online friends dispensed with the outer exterior that we are able to access each other's insides right away, where we get to know the real each other. Of course, there may be the case of an online "friend", hiding behind the anonymity of a moniker that he/she may be misleading you into thinking he/she is somebody that he/she is not. Perhaps that's why meeting up after getting to know each other online is a bonus, though not necessarily vital.

Despite the shortcut of the "ladder", there is no quick way to the depth of the ring. A very good blogging friend may be able to drop right into say, the Second Ring, but it will only at best, be at the surface of the ring. A lot more is required for the new friend to actually have a steady and secure foothold in that ring. The stronger the foothold, the deeper inside that ring.

To those friends who read my blog, you know who you are and you should probably know where you are.

To the rest. How do you classify your friends?

- Voxeros

1. mihuatang left...
Monday, 3 October 2005 11:58 am
i do not think i have so many rings. maybe 3-5. and from one ring to another, there is no clear cut lines between them. more like shades inside of a clear cut line.
and after living away for a few years, all rings almost disappeared (as in lost contacts liao)

2. JayWalk left...
Monday, 3 October 2005 1:05 pm :: 
mihuatang: Well, it is not like you would make a leap from one ring to the next. More like drifting along and easing your way in.
There are often times where a friend moves to the next ring without you even realising it.

3. mihuatang left...
Monday, 3 October 2005 1:56 pm
there are some people where you will 一见如故. while there are others who just cannot click even if you know them for years... maybe it's a case of 八字不合!

4. JayWalk left...
Monday, 3 October 2005 2:03 pm :: 
Mihuatang: Well said indeed. Very often do we get people who appeared to land right at the inner circles only to skid off all 10 rings into oblivion.

5. jaschocolate left...
Monday, 3 October 2005 6:29 pm
Daddy, which ring am i in? 7th?

6. Eddy left...
Monday, 3 October 2005 10:10 pm
Me very simple. Good friends, friends, hi bye friends. heheh

7. JayWalk left...
Monday, 3 October 2005 11:28 pm :: 
Jaschocolate: 7th is probably right at the moment but I would very much like to move you up to 5th. Perhaps I arrange a small gathering when I get back in December with Kelawar and Co-Editor?

Eddy: A very simple model for you as I see that you tend to see things more in black and white than me. The reason for so many rings is perhaps the fact that I count the grey areas as an independent ring.

8. akk left...
Tuesday, 4 October 2005 12:09 am
heheheh...u want to add 'levels' to your rings? then it'll be seriously a fren A is 3rd ring, level 2 and B is 5th ring, level 110. It's nice to have a system like this and although u say u treat grey areas as circles, the labeling is still clear-cut. OTOH, some frens can be absolutely misnomers...dunno where to put them....How about frens you really want to keep but dun actually chup u that much? I've a few like that.

9. JayWalk left...
Tuesday, 4 October 2005 12:49 am :: 
Akk: Friendship is a two-way street. If the other party don't chup you then chances here he/she won't be able to get very far in the circles.

10. nadnut left...
Tuesday, 4 October 2005 9:50 am ::
did i see red bull?

11. JayWalk left...
Tuesday, 4 October 2005 2:55 pm :: 
nadnut: Wah raoz... you damn jialat... ~LOL
BTW, how do you feel about Livita or Lipovitan?

12. zeenie left...
Tuesday, 4 October 2005 4:15 pm
as i was reading your post, i automatically thought that bloggers were separate from the ring as they seemed to transcend and skip the outer levels through them reading our innermost (or outermost) thoughts everyday. =) on the other hand, i dunno why i keep thinking of a dart board. LOL

13. JayWalk left...
Tuesday, 4 October 2005 5:13 pm ::
Zeenie: Actually, I was thinking of a dart board when I came up with it. Online friends in the blogosphere is like I said that ladder in the Snake-&-Ladder board game where it gives you the ladder to go right in.

However, because of the fact that such friendships are not built over time, they too can fade away just as quickly and again like the snakes in the same board game.

14. Sheena left...
Wednesday, 5 October 2005 1:35 am
I'd like to think I'm at the third ring. Is that asking for too much?
And why is everyone calling you daddy? Jaslyn called you Papa, and now we have Jaschocolate calling you Daddy. Nooooooooo... My status has been usurped!!!

15. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 5 October 2005 1:41 am ::
Sheena: You are very much at the 3rd ring although at the surface of it. It will take a bit of time for it to settle in properly or even move up to Ring 2.

As for the Papa/Daddy thing. I am no bladdy idea! But also good lah... make your "TPP" nickname for me stand out less. :P

16. nadnut left...
Wednesday, 5 October 2005 3:55 pm ::
havent tried those yet. heh :)
17. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 5 October 2005 6:01 pm :: 
nadnut: Livita (now known as Lipovitan) is like the grandpa of Redbull. It was around ever since I was a kid. Redbull come on only much much later.

Personally, I prefer Livita than Redbull even though I shouldn't be drinking either.
Also, last time mama shop got 10-cent bubble gum (with the free water-based tattoo underside of the wrapper) also same flavour.

So since my folks won't let me drink Livita (as with all other folks to their kids), this bubblegum was as close as I could get.

18. nadnut left...
Thursday, 6 October 2005 12:19 am ::
i wanna eat those gum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

19. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 6 October 2005 12:28 am ::
nadnut: I think Malaysia still have. Keep a lookout when you head into JB

20. nadnut left...
Friday, 14 October 2005 5:36 pm ::
hmmm. shall go jb to source for the mentioned gum one day..

21. JayWalk left...
Friday, 14 October 2005 5:50 pm :: 
Nadnut: I will also get my friends to keep a lookout for you too, if they happened to go JB.

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