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07 August 2006

Wank The Elephant

Q: What do you do when an elephant comes through your window?

A: Swim for your life!




Got this article from TodayOnline (Click and read it first!) and I couldn't help but snigger as I read on. Man.... I really need to get my brain out of the sewers.

I can see it now... all the elephant keepers huddling in a corner playing Oh-Beh-Somp to determine who gets the unfortunate honour of wanking the elephant.

I can see it now... the keeper, during his high school reunion, responding to the "So-what-do-you-do-for-a-living" question (for the millionth time) with a deadpan expression, "I give elephant hand-jobs".

I can see it now...  the keeper's son engaging who-has-the-greatest-dad debate with his fellow classmate, "Oh yeah? My dad says he can hold 2 trillion elephants with just one hand!"


I can see it now...  the keeper ordering only Kopi-O during his break. Condensed milk reminds him too much of his job.

I can see it now...  the keeper taking the MRT on his way home from work. As it was peak hour traffic, only standing space were available. The keeper cultivated the unexplainable habit of needing to hold on to the metal pole with both hands. Hmmm... strange.....

I can see it now... the keeper fainted the moment he stepped into his house after his saw his wife with face cream on.




OK OK, I was being a ripe bastard to be making fun of the keepers for ultimately they are of a noble profession. Sorry lah! Their painstaking efforts that most of us take for granted is vital towards the preservation of the species. They should be saluted for their hard work. While we only see what the zoo display in front for the visitors, how many of us actually know the blood, sweat and tears put in behind the scenes to make the zoo running smooth operationally?


What about all the research efforts and collaboration with zoos around the world so that we may save each and every species from extinction as a result of human's destruction of the planet?


Salute!


p.s. I still think it's pretty funny though. Sorry!


- Voxeros


1. LD left...
Monday, 7 August 2006 2:46 am :: http://littledowager.blogsome.com
The "xianshen,yaobuyaospecial?" really killed me.


2. akk left...
Monday, 7 August 2006 8:40 am
i wonder if the elephant will get traumatised. i mean, when he wanted it badly, they keep him from the females and then when the heat's all over, his trusty human keepers start touching him....eeewwwwww........

in any case hor, he is starting to go ga-ga liao, judging by his temper tantrums. a few more years and they'll need another elephant. is his semen really that valuable?


3. zeenie left...
Monday, 7 August 2006 9:33 am
Dunno if you've seen this one about the worst job in the world: http://www.blog.co.uk/main/index.php/wulfweard/2005/11/25/worst_job_in_the_ world~337482
warning: confirm chio kao peng one. =)


4. sunflower left...
Monday, 7 August 2006 10:09 am
This was featured in the news. There was one year, the elephant nearly kill the zoo keeper due to his sexual heat!


5. JayWalk left...
Monday, 7 August 2006 11:34 am :: 
LittleDowager*: Heh heh.... hope that brightens up your Monday. =)

AKK: Actually, the animals are not milked by hand, if I am not wrong. I saw this documentary once where they were "milking" a pedigree bull. They had this machine shape like a cow with the appropriate orifice for the bull to mount.

I supposed they would have something to a similar effect for the bull elephant?
Anyway, it was reported that this particular elephant was one of the few elephants that was born in the wild before being capture and put in the zoo. In zoology speak, this is supposedly a very valuable thing.

Zeenie: Yeah, I know of this list when I blog this elephant job.

sunflower: Yeah, it was mentioned in the article. However, I think it is best to highlight that the near death was due to goring by the elephant and not because the elephant try to "do" the zookeeper. Yikes!


6. OLLie left...
Monday, 7 August 2006 6:14 pm
Condensed milk. Wah lau. I just remembered I drank teh peng just now. Next time I drink teh peng I will be reminded of what you said. ew.


7. aloe left...
Thursday, 10 August 2006 9:00 am
Poor elephant... it's just survival / mating instinct for him... If he understood, I think he will trample all over you.. hehehe! :P


8. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 16 August 2006 2:17 am :: 
Ollie: Don't forget to savour the taste! 

Anna: I think getting trampled would have been the more dignified way. Better that than kena poke backside. :P

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