30 August 2006

Hong Kong Guy And A Durian

It was a couple of years back during one of my precious trips back to Singapore when a good friend JL, tagged along.

Playing the good host, ambassador and tourist guide, I introduced the fun and interesting aspects of Singapore. It wasn't long before we arrived at the topic of durians and casually mentioned that this is a fruit not for the faint hearted.

JL, which I failed to mentioned earlier, has quite the big ego for that small framed body of his, boasted that he has not only eaten quite a few durians in his day but has also self-proclaimed to be a connoisseurs of sorts.

Perhaps it was his bad luck to have me as a friend, for I was most skeptical with such an audacious proclamation. Well, as I thought to myself, that if have a needle in hand and someone shoves a balloon in your face, it's really hard not to be a prick (no pun intended) under such circumstances.

Without a second thought, I suggested going for durians after dinner and he readily agreed.

The gauntlet was thrown....

Pistols at ten paces....

Showdown at high noon....

We pulled up to the red temple (Tua Pek Kong?) at Balestier Road, just a little further down from Quality Hotel. Correct me if I am wrong but the stall is called Sindy Durian? Can't remember.

Anyway, after I seated everybody down at the table, I went up to the stall and choose my pickings. Ahh.... D24. No brainer there. A shake shake here and a sniff sniff there and I picked a durian each for all of us. Like I said earlier, being the perfect host and ambassador, I saved the biggest durian for JL.

Actually hor, I knew he was boasting based on Thai "Tasteless" durian lah. So hor, I was just 拿人家来消遣. It's like playing poker with him while he was seated back against the mirror. I is guai lan. Hur hur hur....

The durians arrived shortly after and we all tucked in. JL stopped at the very first seed. He was a goner. Habis. Game Over.

The power of Malaysian durian claimed its first victim at the very first round. He was going all red struggling to swallow the slimy morsel. I was going all red struggling to stifle my laughter.

So for the rest of the evening, he just sat there sipping his aqua-plastic-cup-mineral-water while I heartily devoured my share of the durian and his.

I can be such a prick sometimes. Hur hur hur....

- Voxeros

1. OLLie left...
Tuesday, 29 August 2006 5:25 pm
wah lau eh. hahaha.. His huge ego surely kena crushed by you on that day.
I would only do that if I don't really like that someone. I'm evil in that way.

2. aloe left...
Wednesday, 30 August 2006 8:33 am
I can only say poor (NOT) guy... =P
U know how to chose durians?? =O ooo.... maybe you can write one on how to chose durians... hehehe!

3. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 30 August 2006 8:57 am :
OLLie: Aiyah.... just a prank only lah. Only good friends do that to each other. *evil*

Anna: Just a few rules of thumb lah. Not say I super expert. First is look at the thorns. Must be sharp. Blunt thorns suggest that the durian has been lying around the stall longer than it should be. If other customers are avoiding it, then perhaps you are better off choosing another.

Shake to see if you can see the seeds rattle. This would indicate if the flesh inside is dry or mushy. Not say one is better than the other as it is a matter of preference. Myself for example, prefers the mushy ones but it is risky considering the fact that it could also mean over ripe.

Same goes for smell. It mustn't be overpowering suggesting over riping. Must ooze out little bit by little bit, machiam like seducing you with a bit of teasing here and there. One shot strip naked hor, people will straight away sian half.

4. sunflower left...
Wednesday, 30 August 2006 9:28 am
He deserved that. IF I am you, I will do the same thing.

Anna har, you still ask him to blog about how to choose durian. Luckily he included in this comment.... =.="

Jay, how many durian post to go... :D Even I like durian but too much liao, start to feel heaty le! :P

5. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:48 am ::
sunflower: I think no more durian blog liao. If I have 2 more hor, I would have made this into a series.

Feeling heaty liao? Got drink lotsa liang teh lah. That should settle your backside pimple. :P

6. aloe left...
Wednesday, 30 August 2006 1:35 pm
sunflower: cos cos... I dun know how to chose mah. I always ask them to chose for me.

hahaha! So far no probs yet but when I get older... I doubt those durian sellers will be so willing to help me chose good durians liao. hahahahahahah! =P Must Learn!!

Anyway, with his durian blogs, do you feel a sudden urge to buy durians? :P yummm... drink more liang teh loh... heheh!

Jay: So if the flesh is mushy, it means that you should not be able to hear the seeds rattle?

7. akk left...
Wednesday, 30 August 2006 11:52 pm'll scold me one, but actually as long as sweet and creamy, i like all kinds of durian and cannot differentiate one from the other....i wun even know if i ate a d24 or not...

8. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 31 August 2006 12:09 am ::
Anna: What d'ya mean get older then they won't help? You must teh the uncle mah....

Yah. Mushy can't hear rattle but it may mean over ripe instead of just being nicely mushy. You will need to call on your other findings, like smell to help determine.

Akk: Won't angry one lah. As long as you willing to come out go eat durian, I happy liao.

9. aloe left...
Thursday, 31 August 2006 9:09 am
Jay= When u are old with wrinkles and everything, you think they will be so willing to help meh. =P Think they will just say... aiyah auntie! All our durians very good one. Specially selected. You see which one you like then take loh... =P

10. spinnee left...
Thursday, 31 August 2006 10:32 am
*grin* great minds think the rest i'll DO the same too.
these pple just need someone to whack them jialat jialat (mentally) *GRINZ*

11. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 31 August 2006 1:50 pm :: 
Anna: You neber heard of Lao Chio meh? You just need to teh harder, that's all!
Either they will continue to be mesmerised by you or they would beg you to stop. Either way you still win mah. kekekekeke

12. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 31 August 2006 6:37 pm :: 
Spinnee: JL is good friend lah. I was just messing around with him only. As to the so called "crushing of ego", it is not as malicious as it sounds lah. :)

13. serendipity left...
Sunday, 3 September 2006 7:52 am ::
hey i have moved to longer using skybellzz. some old guy took over tt link, which seems a little gay if you ask me. haha

14. JayWalk left...
Sunday, 3 September 2006 9:03 am ::
Serendipity: Gay meh? Ok wat, judging by the fella's one and only entry. At least it's not written in aLtEnAtE cApS though. Thanks for the update anyway.

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