29 November 2005

Fizzle In The Drizzle Series (Part 2) - The Teacher With The Halo

I was the Vice-Chair for the Students' Union Orientation Camp that year when I met Carmen. She was from NIE, which technically was part of NTU, despite their campus all the way away in Bukit Timah. So when it comes to activities on a University-wide scale, we would invite them to come join us as counselors. Carmen was one of the 6 counselors that signed up and it was hard for them to fit in initially since they hardly know anyone in the Jalan Bahar campus.

I guessed, as host, I had to make sure everybody feels welcomed and comfortable and so I took it upon myself to . The camp is further split into 6 main groups which means 1 NIE counselor per group. As luck of the draw would have it, she was assigned to Jill's group. I, being in the main committee, was not affiliated to any group initially until Jill had a minor "breakdown", just days before the camp started, resulting in me having to take over her group.

Carmen was certainly glad to see another familiar face in the group as the NTU-side counselors were already a clique to begin with. She stayed close to me throughout the camp as she was a tad on the shy side when it comes to making new friends. She was within sight whenever my main committee obligations did not take me away from the group. That translated into lot of time hanging out and chit chatting. She may be quite shy but once she gets to know you better, she can be very chatty.

The more we talked, the more I got to knew and it was quite shocking for me to learn of such a girl, at the age of 20, to be so innocent. Words cannot describe to you how innocent she was but the camp being her first ever extended stay away from home can give you a pretty good picture there. No prizes for guessing that she never had a boyfriend before and I would be an idiot not to spot that she was looking for one from a mile away.

For those who knew me, I shun fresh recruits in the battlefield of dating/relationships. She was quite the chiobu but something about newbies, just turned me off my radar. Either that or being the first ever bloke to be her first ever boyfriend was too much pressure to bear. I am no Neil Armstrong nor do I have the makings of one. Besides, I had a girlfriend then and she too was in that very same group. I could hear the cat hissing behind my ears. *shudder*

Problem is that the situation from her angle looked totally different. I was getting more and more appealing to her by the day. Like the stock prices in the early 1990s hey-day, my "market value" was riding the bull-run.

Nothing happened between us as I chose to act blur on all the hints and signals that she dropped. However, in a warped sense, my "steadfast faithfulness" to my then girlfriend, drove her lagi nuts over me. If my "market value" was real money, I could have started my retirement even before graduation. Oh well....

So the camp was over and we kept in touch over the phone and emails but had to say no whenever she asked me out. Eventually, the frequency dwindled as time dragged on and we soon lost touch with each other, which I think was for the better for both parties.

Even if I was single and available then, still nothing would have happened for she was just way too innocent for me to tahan.

- Voxeros

1. Pam left...
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 1:14 am
jay jay jay... never did i think that 'innocence' could ever be a 'negative'!! :) *shake head in despair-cum-wonder*

2. vanna left...
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 10:14 am
i hope my innocence doesn't turn guys away.. muahahaha
weird sense of logic leh.. hahahaha.. i tot guys love gals being innocent

3. kIm left...
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 11:14 am ::
huh? That's that first time I ever heard that guys don't like innocent girls. I thought they always like innocent shu nu type? Haha..

4. JayWalk left...
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 12:34 pm ::
Pam, Vanna & kIm: All of you are guilty of stereotyping guys. Sigh....
Then again, could I be the one who is actually wrong given that it is 3 against 1?

Actually, the logic is simple. Innocent girls means the guy have to teach everything from scratch. Very tiring one. Seriously, where got time? By the time she "gets it", the mood is gone and you sian half already.

Besides, isn't the "non-innocent" pool a bigger ocean to fish?

Let's do a count. Hands up to those who think they are innocent.

But remember: Liar, liar, pants on fire.

5. Sheena left...
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 2:44 pm
Hey, I feel that if she can try to hook you when she knew you had a girlfriend, she wasn't that innocent after all!

6. JayWalk left...
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 3:58 pm ::
Pam: So now you know why I regard you positively?

Vanna: Well, I doubt if you are scaring any of the guys away. From what I heard you have been trying frantically to shoo quite a number of potential suitors away of late.
Based solely, on that, I think you are failing miserable in the innocence department also. :P

7. JayWalk left...
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 4:00 pm :
Sheena: She was sooo innocent that she wasn't familiar with the "Rules of The Game" under the sub-section of "Offenses - Potong Jalan".

8. Pam left...
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 5:34 pm
Jay... it's too early in the morning... so, was that a 'compliment'??! :) hmph..

9. Pam left...
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 6:02 pm
jay - you are so in trouble dude...:)

10. Jaschocolate left...
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 7:21 pm
Jay Daddy, you can wait till the apple is ripe for picking mah.. :p

11. JayWalk left...
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 9:07 pm :: 
Pam: What? What?!

Jaschocolate: Don't you mean till the *cough* cherry *cough* is ripe for picking? *cough cough*

12. jaschocolate left...
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 9:28 pm
u can say that also.. *bish*

13. vanna left...
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 11:32 pm
*coughs coughs*
since when i have been chasing my suitors away?? how come i didn't even know tat?

14. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 30 November 2005 9:09 am :: 
Jaschocolate: Hmm... the person who cracked the joke about a certain cherry picker in NUS hasn't showed up her yet with a comment...

Where art thou? Show thyself!! Out!

Vanna: Don't have meh? Hmm... let me go check my "source" again....

15. vanna left...
Wednesday, 30 November 2005 1:01 pm
who is ur "source"
give u wrong info

16. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 30 November 2005 1:08 pm :: 
Vanna: Cannot reveal lah.. or else my agents will be compromised.
Secret secret. Shh.....

17. Zhe Bin left...
Wednesday, 30 November 2005 3:23 pm
I kinda know how you felt. And may I say being the only other guy than you to leave a comment I am v.stressed! Haha.

But for me, innocent girls are far too fragile. And by fragile I mean 'can be broken easily'. It's like, they tend to belong to the extremes - a lot of attention and pacifying vs totally unresponsive. More often than not, some of these friends I have have fairytale-like expectations from a relationship. Just not practical at all.

I'd have chosen a more independent and realistically practical lady. At least she's clear what she wants. = )

18. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 30 November 2005 3:31 pm :: 
Zhe Bin: YES! A guy to speak up finally!!
I TOTALLY understand what you are saying. Truth of the matter is that in order for a lady to be more independent and realistically practical, she would have gone through a few frogs before finding the prince in you.

And so, innocent girls do not fall into this category.

p.s. Bladdy mihuatang chicken out on me here. Normally a lot of comments one.... NB.... :P

19. Zhe Bin left...
Wednesday, 30 November 2005 9:36 pm
Hahaha. I think he missed this one lah. And ya lor, every girls have been at least once an innocent thing.. Maybe until we came along ba. Muahaha. But of cos like I said, I'd rather not be the one. Hee.
Anyway what is mht's brog ah?

20. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 30 November 2005 9:50 pm :: 
Zhe Bin: You are absolutely right in the sense that all girls were innocent once.
The fact that we leave these angels alone proves that we are indeed GOOD GUYS.
Tio bor?

On another note, MHT don't have a blog. Or at least I am not aware of one.

21. vanna left...
Wednesday, 30 November 2005 10:15 pm
but being innocent doesn't not mean that the gal will not have realistic expectations.
every gal would want attention & care from their guys. who doesn't wants it?
but on another note, r u guys meeting the wrong type of gals who r the needy & also innocent types? muahahahahaha
there are many types of innocence leh :P

22. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 1 December 2005 12:30 am ::
Vanna: Let's not mix innocence up with needy.
This blog entry here centers around being overly innocent while the earlier one with Fern is about being overly needy.

I think we need to discuss each separately.

Can you further elaborate on "realistic expectations"?

What are the difference types of innocence, pray tell?

23. vanna left...
Thursday, 1 December 2005 10:33 am
we discuss this on msn
now brain dead.. can't think well

24. akk left...
Thursday, 1 December 2005 2:39 pm
a very good debate going on here. Let me just add that a cherry-picker is a bloody machine, not a person, however much some women may like to meet such men and some men may like (or not) to be labeled as such. 'Bloody'...hur hur....

OTOH, you don't need the cherry to be picked in order to be less innocent and to pick the cherry and eat it in order to be bad.

Everything is relative. Fairy-tale expectations isn't really a measure of innocence, more like naivete. And being fragile isn't innocence either, more like character and personality and watching too many 'qiong yao' shows= naivete again.

Innocence, I think, is actually being unable to even see and tell the difference in close guy/gal frens when we're little kids.

the OUT! person has 2 cents worth lah....don't comprain..... heheheh..:)

25. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 1 December 2005 5:48 pm :: 
Vanna: Either that or we can take this discussion over to the next Secret Agent Meeting (SAM). ;)

26. Pam left...
Thursday, 1 December 2005 5:55 pm
i think you need to explain what you mean by 'realistic expectations'. what is realistic may be unrealistic to the other party - and that's what most friends/couples find out eventually, regardless of how well they get on. one might think '1x call a day' is realistic. others may think speaking a few times a day is realistic. etcetc.

i agree with the person who said that fairy-tale expectations = naivete. hence the reason why jay steered clear of these people he's blogging about! :) he can be quite clever sometimes. haha.

27. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 1 December 2005 5:57 pm :: 
Akk: Well said there but I have to make a minor tweak there.

Granted that you don't need to have your cherry picked in order to be innocent, there is however, no such thing as being innocent if your cherry has already been picked. Nobody said anything about being bad. That's judging other people already which I think we should steer clear of that.

In all, I think you've made an excellent point on the difference of being innocent and being naive.

*thumbs up*

28. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 1 December 2005 6:16 pm :: 
Pam: So many chiobus, so little time!!! which is why I steer clear of "these people", they take up too much time!! :P
So now you know. :P

29. akk left...
Friday, 2 December 2005 9:37 am
Jay, 'Bad' meaning the multitude of naive gals who think that the guy who picks the cherry but leaves in the end is the 'Paikia' who deserves the label. And also to your own labeling of 'pai-kia' in your prelude.

Meaning that 'bad', like 'dangerous' is also relative and mostly a term that naive/unknowing ppl tend to use. Again meaning that ur 'pai-kia' label is actually superlative also lah.

30. JayWalk left...
Friday, 2 December 2005 10:09 am :
Akk: Err... so "Bad" is actually not that bad?

Pam: Eh Pam, in accordance to Akk's definition, Kelly is considered naive/ignorant leh.
What do you have to say about that?

31. Pam left...
Friday, 2 December 2005 4:27 pm
i think you have to realise that naivete at say early 20s is quite clearly different from naivete at say, OUR AGE! at our age, naivete is probably quite non-existent, unless said-person's not had a relationship before, which in this particular situation, is not true. so i would revise that and say that said-person isn't naive/innocent, more like having ridiculous expectations. it's too early in the morning to make sense - hope that made some! :)

32. JayWalk left...
Friday, 2 December 2005 4:45 pm ::
Pam: I doubt if there is the so-called "naive person" at YOUR AGE*.

If really zhun zhun got such a person, I really wondered how sheltered her life must have been growing up.

Anyway, I don't think you need to revise anything you said earlier. Anyone who has "ridiculous expectation" would have been naive to begin with. No?

* What OUR AGE?? I still young ok?!! :P

33. Pam left...
Friday, 2 December 2005 6:36 pm
biological age dude, biological. :)

actually there are such people about - well, not necc at this age but say late 20s, who for whatever reason never had a relationship. hence can be quite innocent/naive.

i think the ridiculous expectations can come about as a result of bad tv dramas, media exposure (cosmopolitan mags etc), and what they perceive as their 'rights'. e.g. i am such and such, therefore i have the right to expect this and that. certain careers also seem to impose certain expectations, don't you think?

34. JayWalk left...
Friday, 2 December 2005 9:33 pm ::
Pam: Er... reading between the lines, are you talking about a certain person whom I also happen to know?

35. Pam left...
Friday, 2 December 2005 9:53 pm
dude - i think we've always been talking about a certain person. if it's not that certain person, then i don't think i know who you talking about - unless you want to enlighten me! :)

36. JayWalk left...
Friday, 2 December 2005 10:45 pm :: 
Pam: Ok lah... it's that Kelly lah... but I just thought maybe, just maybe, there could be somebody else?

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