17 November 2005

J-Files Case# 882.732 - Operation Crimson Cattle

Secret Location: HMT, 17 Nov 2005 1302 ZULU

Agent-S2: Agent-J, Sir!

Agent-J: Ahh.. good to see you. What do you have for me from this intelligence gathering assignment?

Agent-S2: Yes Sir and we have also acquired a target that we are now closely monitoring.

Name: Nad Crystel.
Espionage Category: Freelance Mercenary.
Background: Ex-Cop*.
Age: 21.
Street Callsign: "Nadnut".

Our codebreakers are currently deciphering what it means but we are speculating that it is probably Nadnut = Gonad + Nut = Testicles.

Agent-J: Ahh... so it's a guy.

Agent-S2: Er.. Sir, it's a girl.

Agent-J: *sputter* A girl with BALLS?!!!

Agent-S2: Sir, I hope you meant that in the figurative sense.

Agent-J: *cough* But of course. *cough cough*

Agent-S2: If I may proceed, Agent Nadnut is an expert of disguises. She has the ability to transform into different people but also people of different gender. But the ultimate piece de resistance in her identity deception repertoire is her ability to transform into different animals. Sir, please see the screen for the various shots that we managed to take while on surveillance. See how she is able to transform from man to woman? Next slide, please.


See how she is able to transform from genie to angel to gingerbread man? Or from human to cow to bird to dragon?

Agent-J: By Josh! You're right. She is definitely unrivaled in this field! What else?

Agent-S2: We also managed earlier to hack into her Field Log at BlogSpot but our cover was blown when we were exposed. She later shut it down and move to another undisclosed location. Sir, you would be proud of us when we say that we managed to keep pace with her and also managed to hack into her new site. We are, however, more careful this time and have been undetected since.

Agent-J: Go on.

Agent-S2: She is also very accomplished in combat. Her eyes alone can disarm any man within 10 ft and her weapon of choice is the Liquid Blade where a master-stroke of the keyboard and she can write you off the face of the Earth. Our intelligence reports also indicated that she is also presently working on the Roller Blade which would enhanced her mobility significantly. There is still some time before she can fully harness this device. We need to stop her fast!

Agent-J: Now we need to know more about who exactly she is and what is her next course of movement.

Agent-S2: A current Singapore passport holder, she is of Malay and Chinese descend. Agent Nadnut not only has very established connections to the media, but also very well connected internationally. From her Field Log, we managed to track her every movement. She was last seen in Holland Village, armed with a Finnish communicator** ordering Chinese Dumplings in a California Kitchen.

Agent-J: Hmm... a modern day Carmen SanDiego. A rare gem indeed!

Agent-S2: We also have intelligence from an underground informant that she is due to receive a batch of RedBull from Hong Kong next month. The transaction is due to take place in a Russian restaurant in the Far East*** under the watchful eyes of the Hainanese****. We heard that there may also be a batch of Malaysian bubble-gum transacted as well.

Agent-J: Yes, I have heard of that restaurant. I bet she'd would also go through the sacrificial cow ceremony and seal off the meeting with a Bomba Alaska.

Agent-S2: That's it! Bomba Alaska! So this is what it's all about! Sir, you're a genius!

Agent-J: Good work, Agent-S2. We must leave as soon as possible. Prepare the itinerary!

Agent-S2: Yes Sir. Right away, Sir.

Agent-J: We need to intercept that that Malaysian bubble-gum....

* Cop. = N.P.C.C.
** Finnish Communicator = Nokia Phone
*** Far East = Far East Shopping Centre
**** Hainanese = Hainanese Waiters

- Voxeros

1. z left...
Thursday, 17 November 2005 2:58 pm
have received word that the operation may have been blown due to a leak in communications. also, this message "ze canadians want their sense of humour back."

2. mihuatang left...
Thursday, 17 November 2005 2:59 pm
you not scare wait she unleash her "sistahood of torture" on you ah? (hmmm...maybe it is not workable outside the bar)

3. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 17 November 2005 3:15 pm :: 
z: To retort the Canadians I shall respond with an "Ay?"

mihuatang: No scared lah. Only turtle scared hammer.

4. Lynne left...
Thursday, 17 November 2005 9:24 pm
How "a boot" those Canadians?!
Nadnut is a pretty "mixed" :)

5. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 17 November 2005 9:35 pm :: 
Lynne: Man... how did Canadian get into this? The mix in Nadnut makes her an exotic hottie. Yes?

6. Lynne left...
Friday, 18 November 2005 3:33 am
Dunno, as long as somebody mentions them, must say something lah ... Yeah, she's sizzling hot ... You see, no touch, OK?

7. JayWalk left...
Friday, 18 November 2005 7:31 am :: 
Lynne: Of course see, no touch lah. In fact, I will go one step further.
I will see, no touch, nose bleed. hahahaha.

8. Audit Krimson Kake left...
Friday, 18 November 2005 10:44 am
Rumours from the Underworld have uncovered connections with Asian Carmen S's purported receipt of HK redbull in the coming month to a atas-flying agent currently manhandling Operation Crimson Cattle. Audit C(K)rimson C(K)ake Corp. has detected a mole/perpetrator/tua-pai-lang in your midst. Agent J, you are under investigation.... >P

9. Zhe Bin left...
Friday, 18 November 2005 11:36 am
Haha! You can pull a lot of stuffs out of your a** I think. = P Anyway how was your tournament?

10. winter left...
Friday, 18 November 2005 2:06 pm
u r so sweeeeeeeeeet
i bet it makes her lafff

11. JayWalk left...
Friday, 18 November 2005 2:43 pm :: 
AKK: Roger that Agent AKK. I have since activated Agents CJD and DEEK to look into this.
This will be a new project of the Covert Ops classification. Please get your clearance mustered at once.
We will meet again at POD at the RelAKK One Corner.

12. JayWalk left...
Friday, 18 November 2005 3:01 pm ::
Zhe Bin: Well, it helps that I am right-brained. Creative juices just flow a tad easier for me.
In other words, I tok kok king lah... wahahahaa....

Winter: Like I said, just lucky to be at the right place right time. This was geared towards cheering her up from her Bar fight. Merely coincidence.

13. JayWalk left...
Friday, 18 November 2005 3:05 pm ::
Zhe Bin: Forgot to answer the tournament bit. Same answer as usual. I crapped out. Haiz....
I thot I turned the corner when I came in 3rd and 4th in the last two tournaments. Now back to the bottom half again..... oh well....

14. nadnut left...
Saturday, 19 November 2005 12:05 am ::
hor hor hor. agent nadnut has found out about your plans!

15. JayWalk left...
Saturday, 19 November 2005 8:36 am :: 
nadnut: This is not good. Our cover is compromised. Agent Nadnut must be neutralised.
Let this be a warning shot to a worthy adversary.
Watch your nuts. We are coming after them... :P

16. agent nadnut left...
Saturday, 19 November 2005 10:33 am ::
u wait long long! with redbull, i can fly! u better watch YOUR nuts. there is a reason why i'm called agent nadnut right? ;)

17. JayWalk left...
Saturday, 19 November 2005 11:10 am :: 
Nadnut: One word now, all thanks to you.
Shriveled. :(

18. nadnut left...
Sunday, 20 November 2005 5:53 am ::
shrivelled? o.O

19. JayWalk left...
Sunday, 20 November 2005 8:04 am ::
Nadnut: Not o.0.
More like ** .

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