06 August 2008

How To Get On Jay-Meister's A-List

One thing I don't understand about women's magazine that offer style tips to the ladies is that why are they written by women? Shouldn't that be a man's job?

Think about it, women doll up for the men to be attracted to them. It's a mating ritual for thousand of years ever since the homo-sapien has a heartbeat. It is even before we can walk upright. All the new age bullshit about women dress up for themselves to feel good about themselves is just bullshit.

So let me ask you this, wouldn't a man's opinion weigh more?

Ok, ok. Now before anyone starts flaming me with hate mail, let's do a poll.
  1. How many of you ladies feel indifferent after a man, be it a stranger or otherwise, were to come up to you and pays you a sincere and genuine compliment on how good or hot you look?

    Elated. - Add 5 points.
    Indifferent. - Add 0 point.
  2. How many of you ladies would have a great day after a guy were to stare at you so hard, that he...

    Walked into a lamp post. - Add 5 points.
    Walked into a moving bus. - Add 10 points.
    Walked into a moving bus and got crushed in front of screaming school kids on board. - Add 100 points.
    The rest of the day still sucked pretty much. - Add 0 point.
  3. If there were two of you ladies side by side, would you beam if the guys are looking at you more then looking at her?

    Yes - Add 5 points.
    No - Add 0 point.
    Even the other girl is looking at you. - Add 20 points.


    1 - 125 points. Yes. You want to look good for others because it makes you feel good about yourself.

    0 point. Go back to your petri-dish, you amoeba!

How To Get On Jay-Meister's A-List
(05 Aug 2008) - You don't have to be a supermodel or Ms Universe in order to be beautiful. All it takes is a little bit of effort and you could be the most gorgeous-looking girl in the room.
As the old Chinese saying goes, "There are no ugly women. Just lazy ones."

So if you would like to get into JayMeister's A-List, read on.
  1. Shoes - There is Attitude when there is Altitude. I am referring to dressing occasions here. So sporting occasions (sneakers, trainer, running shoes) or wet marketing occasions (flip flops, sandals, crocs(!) and birkies) are not relevant in this particular discussion.

    I don't like flats on a lady regardless of how tall you are. Even if you are 1.85m, a little bit of heel say 1" to 1.5", would make you look more poised and elegant. Flats just make the lady look frumpy.

    If you are taller than your man, it's really not your problem. It's his. He is the short fart. I have dated taller girls before and I never had any problems having them towering over me. Not that I am short, but there will always be that someone taller. Besides, it's always fun to be the couple that everybody stares at. The guy will be the envy of all his peers simply because he had you.

    Then there is the question of open toe vs covered shoes.

    Personally, I prefer covered shoes and partly due to the fact that many ladies don't pay enough attention to their pedicure which can be quite horrendous in a pair of open toed shoe. Then again, covered shoes may encourage the ladies to continue to be tardy with their pedicure as out of sight, out of mind. So I guess there are pros and cons in a covered shoe. Still, I prefer the prior because they look better on the lady. Personal preference, of course.

    Perhaps almost due to our Singaporean culture where we leave our shoes at the front door then walking inside the house in slippers or bare feet, the wardrobe is, as a result, separated from the shoes, where the prior is in the bedroom or next to it. In other words, the ladies would pick the shoes after they have picked the dress.

    Try this for a change, do the opposite and pick a dress to match the shoes. Go out to the shoe cabinet (if you don't own a walk-in wardrobe like Carrie Bradshaw), pick out the shoes you would wear for the day, then come back in to pick out a matching outfit to go with. You'd be surprised how different the whole experience would be.
  2. Bags - That's my daughter's second word after "papa". There is no need to starve yourself silly in order to get that Hermes. Get something nice within your means, if the prior is too rich for your blood.

    Seriously, what is the point of living on bread and water for 2 months just to get that Louis Vuitton? If it is deemed out of your league, people are going to assume that you are carrying a fake anyway.

    Then there is the issue of "fad". It's has an expiry date that it will go out of style at some point in time. So after you have painstakingly plonked $$$$$ on that latest "IT" bag, what do you do with it when it is no longer in fashion?

    Rather than selling a kidney to get that one mega-expensive Prada, why not buy 3 nice classic Coach or Kate Spade?

    Kate Spade - Classic Noel Tracy Bucket

    D&G Dolce & Gabbana - Small Tote With Strap

    Anyway, a nice tote is a must-have as ladies have been known to carry shitloads of rubbish with them. That's all fine and dandy for the working weekday but come the weekend, a nice shoulder sling or handbag would be better.

    Now come the evening where dressing takes a bit more than just the usual, a quaint little clutch is a Yes, especially if you are wearing something strapless. The word strapless means no strap from the dress and neither from the bag. Think about it, strapless because you want to flaunt that beautiful curvy shoulders of yours. So wouldn't you agree that it is really dumb to put the strap back on with the bag?

    If you are worried about the tiny little clutch not being able to hold in everything, there is this other thing that would resolve that problem.

    It's called the man's pocket. Just hand it to the guy to hold it for you.
  3. Outfits. It's the 80-20 rule. You wear 20% of your clothes 80% of the time. Perhaps it's time to take stock of your wardrobe and you'd be surprised to discover how many new outfits you actually have to choose from inside. Add a little mix and match, the number is even bigger.

    Now, new outfits do not necessarily translate to good ones. There will be those what-was-I-thinking-when-I-bought-that types. I say, clear them out. Sell it, donate it. Just don't hoard it. Make space for new outfits to come in.

    As for accessories, it is better to keep it simple. There's a thin line separating crass and class. Don't over-bling yourself. Especially the ears, don't overload it with ear chandeliers that are so heavy that they threatened to rip the flesh off your earlobes.

    Guys prefer to kiss the naked nape of the neck, nibble the back of the shoulder and flick the lobes of the ears, without having endure a mouthful of jewelry.

    Oh yes, throw in a nice scent while we are at it. Thanks in advance!
  4. Underwear. Granny panties are for grannies. Period. Wear something that you would enjoy looking yourself in the mirror. Doesn't matter if the average guy on the street will never get to see it. It's your own little secret.

    There is nothing sexier than being in power.

    So what's is so special about underwear? If you think about it, it represents the last line of defense to finally reach the land of milk and honey. Men are weakest at this point in time. Call it the thunderous calm before the storm, the blinding darkness before the dawn, the shattering tension before the orgasm.

    Oh yes, one more thing, please get rid of the Hello Kitty, Dear Daniel, Winnie The Pooh, Ultraman, Cars, The Incredibles, Toy Story, Barbie Doll, My Little Pony, Care Bear, Spongebob Squarepants, Dora The Explorer, Snow White, Mulan, Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Pochahontas, Powerpuff Girls, and Kim Possible matching underwear set if you have past your 6th birthday.
  5. You. Last but not least, you, yourself and you. The above points (1) to (4) are nothing if you can't get Point (5) right. The above points are sitting on the basic foundation of You. If you don't feel good about yourself, none of the above will do anything for you. You may wear the nicest outfit, shoes and carry the most fabulous bag, it would still amount to nothing if you look and feel like a train wreck. Just the basic proper eating, proper rest, and proper water intake will see you in good stead.

    Oh yes and GET OFF that lazy butt and get some exercise! Get the muscles toned and your heart rate up. Put that glow back on your cheeks and I don't mean the rouge kind.
  6. Smile. 'nuff said.
The woman is God's beautiful perfection after a disastrous first try. Unfortunately, JayWalk feels that it's a shame that a lot of women out there are taking this gift for granted and end up fugly because of their lazy tardiness. Sure, one may argue about the merits of inner beauty and that exterior beauty is only skin deep. Trust me darling. Nobody is going to be able to see that heart of gold if it's covered up in dirty soot. Welcome to the cruel world.

Image Credit: ash j on Flickr;;
- Voxeros

1. msvindicta left...
Wednesday, 6 August 2008 2:06 pm ::
i'm on your a-list and i scored a full 125 points! do i get a prize? :D

2. Posh left...
Wednesday, 6 August 2008 2:31 pm
You can have all the clothes, shoes, bags in the world but nothing works if you don't have the confidence to carry it off. NB:- There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

3. THB left...
Wednesday, 6 August 2008 2:31 pm ::
I am damn lazy but I do try to get a medi and pedi. I am damn lazy but I try to wear make up when I dress simple. I am still damn lazy!!!

4. spiller left...
Wednesday, 6 August 2008 3:01 pm
add on to (4): please, no VPL (visible panty liner) and keep your granny-like bra strap out of our sight please.
and ladies, please don't wear mini-skirt if your legs are like "lobak".

5. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 6 August 2008 3:18 pm :: 
msvindicta: You win a VCR!!!

Posh: Well, one has to start somewhere right? So let's start with the exterior and slowly work towards the interior lor.

THB: You've been to Ta1wan and saw it for yourself. It's not that Ta1wan mei meis are more pretty. Just that they put in more effort.

spiller: Visible panty LINER??!!!!

6. spiller left...
Wednesday, 6 August 2008 6:21 pm
yes, it's kinda fashion crime = wearing pants but can see your panty lines from the back/sideways, like those aunties la.

7. Linny. left...
Wednesday, 6 August 2008 8:19 pm ::
MM! I love this post! ANDDDD we don't carry rubbish around, thank you very much.

8. msvindicta left...
Wednesday, 6 August 2008 9:31 pm
what VCR?

9. aloe left...
Wednesday, 6 August 2008 10:09 pm ::
but but but... I got big feet! Difficult to find covered shoes Which explains why I like open strappy shoes so much. *sulks* I ish discriminated against. :(

10. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 6 August 2008 11:06 pm :: 
spiller: Visible panty line lah.... Not panty LINER. *faintz*

Linny: Yes you do!

msvindicta: Very Cheap Radio.

Aloe: You very long legs and that's all that counts. Besides, I never say open toe no good. If you have nice pedicure, flaunt it!

11. cakie left...
Thursday, 7 August 2008 9:34 am
Nobody is going to be able to see that heart of gold if it's covered up in dirty soot <<<
if a guy sees a girl, sees only the soot, and thus dismisses the girl, then i don't want to attract that kinda guy.
pretty girls are everywhere. if appearances matter that much to him, i'd have to worry about other girls all the time.
that being said, i do not want my looks to be the first thing he notices about me and i do not want him to want to get to know me better just because i look a certain way.
wearing my army pants and t-shirt with no makeup, wearing my 5 dollar hello kitty pajamas, looking pudgy when i'm having pms, makes all the difference to a guy who loves me because of who i am, and a guy who loves me for what i look like.
(not that i am totally anti-dressing up, just feel that the reason for dressing up shouldn't be 'Nobody is going to be able to see that heart of gold if it's covered up in dirty soot')

12. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 7 August 2008 10:10 am :: 
Cakie: I understand your dismay but sadly that's not how the cookie crumble on this planet. I am not saying that what you ask for is impossible but merely saying that you can't change the way the Earth rotates.

This is taken from an old blog entry of mine

From a physics' point of view, this can't be help. Light travel faster than sound. It is inevitable. We will see the person before we are able to get to know them. With our brain processing at lightning pace, something would have already been formulated in our heads before we even get the chance to utter the first "Hello".
(Click here for full article)

So maybe life dealt you a bad hand. You can choose to hold the cards until the deck plays in your favour or you can change the cards until you get a good hand? Which method is easier?

13. dzigna left...
Thursday, 7 August 2008 10:44 am
Dressing up for the occasion is very important. It really shows your respect to the hosts, the people turning up for the event, and the organisors. I guess what Jay is trying to say here is what will attract him, and it is impt for anyone to be in proper attire in the right places. Of course if you are dropping by the hood for some kailan, you can always wear your flip flops and oversized tees. However in Singapore, people tend to get too comfy with their singlets and jeans...

14. Mistress Grace left...
Thursday, 7 August 2008 10:47 am
I am going to say something fair. First impressions count and if you ain't going to look good many people are going to look past that. Its a cruel world. lets face it, people like talking to good looking people. You only look beyond looks when you really get to know the person. Even though I am married, I think its still fair that I look good and maintain how I look despite my husband's claim that no matter how I look he would love me. Lets face it, no man would like to screw a woman with hair curlers in her hair , dressed in a frumpy frock on and looking like a granny all the time. Its not about being superficial but its about being pragmatic.

15. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 7 August 2008 11:31 am :: 
dzigna: Yes, very much so. This list is not THE "A-List" but just my personal one i.e. just stating my preference. To me personal grooming is a form of self-discipline. Call me old skool but I treat this aspect with high regard.

Mistress Grace: Totally agree. My point is that the world is not perfect. There are certain areas that may not be agreeable with one's personally philosophy. So rather than getting oneself stuck at the brick wall, I am merely suggesting going around it to get to the other side?

16. cakie left...
Thursday, 7 August 2008 11:47 am
please note that i am not asking for change.
I understand dressing for the occasion. I can also understand dressing appropriately for the right places.
I agree with MG that it is a cruel world etc.
I only question, on first impressions, if a man does not talk to you but to everyone else, because you're not pretty, is that the kind of guy you want to pander to?
Perhaps i did not specify, but I was not talking about job interviews and all. That would be under "dressing up according to occasion". I was talking more of a social setting.
Reasons for dressing up are aplenty. But to dress up because "nobody is going to be able to see that heart of gold if it's covered up in dirty soot" to me would be dressing up to pander to superficial people, people who judge you on first appearances.
As I have said, there are indeed people like that out there, and I cannot change them. At the same time, I do not want to be their friends.
I would agree to disagree but from what I see it might have been a misunderstanding due to my ambiguity.

17. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 7 August 2008 2:13 pm :: 
Cakie: I know you are not asking for change coz you can't. All I am saying is that it is in the human DNA to zero in on the most eye catching item the moment one steps into the room. It's call natural selection.

You cannot fault a guy or a girl for making a bee line towards the most attractive person in the room. In order to find out the heart of gold, you need to know the person and that can only be facilitated by making contact.

Like I said in my old block entry, the laws of physics dictates that light travels faster than sound i.e. even if you want to know the person first, the sight of him already beat you to it and that you mind has already form some kind of impression, whether you like it or not, even before you utter the first hello.

Sure you can blindfold yourself first or get to know the person over internet without having to see what he/she looks like beforehand but how often do you meet people in this fashion?

You must concede that it is human precondition that the most eye catching will get our attention first. So if you deliberately dress down to camouflage yourself to be as plain as the background, what kind of body language message are you sending to people? Looks to me that you do not want to be approached.

18. cakie left...
Thursday, 7 August 2008 2:45 pm
i did not fault someone who wants to talk to attractive people. i also want to talk to yandao and chiobus.
people i have an issue with, are those who do NOT talk to someone based on their physical appearance.
there is a difference.
so the basis of your comment is not addressing my issue already.
dressing plain = do not want to be approached? errr. I think body language would dictate more as opposed to whether they want to be approached or not right?

19. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 7 August 2008 4:18 pm :: 
Cakie: I think it is a bit extreme for any person who DO NOT talk to people simply based on looks. I would have objected to it myself.

Perhaps I should rephrase it this a bit as to a person who is better presented, get approached first and/or more often? And that somebody who prefers to merge with the backdrop is not making the effort to allow him/herself to be approached first and/or more often?

20. cakie left...
Thursday, 7 August 2008 4:39 pm
DO NOT would perhaps be a hyperbole. More like they are less inclined to talk to you or when they talk to you they are not genuinely interested in knowing you just cos of the way you look.
there definitely are people like that and I have met them. No it's not me they don't talk to, but i see the way they treat people who are poorly dressed, not wearing a certain kind of brand, or perhaps though well-dressed, but a little mismatched.
I do not like it and therefore, will not attempt to dress up so they will like me, so they will attempt conversation with me and know me etc.
i will concede that it is human nature to want to get to know the prettier/better dressed/ whatever person first.
but I cannot condone dressing up so as to pander to those who don't talk to or are not genuine towards others who are not as well-dressed/well-presented.
wrt last paragraph, there are a lot of well-presented people, but people don't want to talk to them because they look dao or something. there are also a lot of scruffy looking people that people want to talk to. that would be a matter of body language rather than dress sense, i feel.

21. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 7 August 2008 5:35 pm :: 
Cakie: Yeah, pandering would be something deem unnecessary. Perhaps dressing up for the right occasion and getting the desired attention from others should be an eventual outcome and not a goal that one set out to achieve.

Make sense?

22. Posh left...
Thursday, 7 August 2008 6:45 pm
I would dress appropriately for the occasion because it is a social etiquette to be respected. On this, I agree with Jay, Dzigna and Mistress Grace, that yes we need to look groomed and presentable at all times. As shallow as it sounds, I have no qualms flaunting my designer goods or flashing the entire Chanel makeup in my Prada cosmetic pouch in the powder room. I am lucky that I am paid adequately to be able to satisfy my whim at anytime and not have to run to my man with hope that he would buy it for me. But that does not mean I would look down on anyone, you live within your means.
I would, however, not go out of my way to attract attention or pander to anyone's eyes. Neither would a well-dressed/groomed person be the nicest in the house. I have witnessed/experienced enough such arshats/biatches to know that. On this, I would agree with Cakie. As long as you are comfortable in your own skin, that is what matters. And like I had said earlier, confidence is always attractive, even if you are in a jeans and tee. You are who you are. Wearing that pair of Manolos does not change a bit about you if your personality/behaviour is unacceptable to begin with.
Ok.... and now back to monitoring the price of the N E71.

23. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 7 August 2008 11:44 pm :: 
Posh: Nicely summed up for everybody.

Oh yah and not having angry face always helps. :P

24. fitti left...
Friday, 8 August 2008 12:02 pm
We HAVE TO create an A-list for men too!!! ho ho ho...

25. JayWalk left...
Friday, 8 August 2008 12:33 pm :: 
fitti: I look forward to reading it!

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