28 December 2005

J-Files Case# 543.534b - Profile: Agent-66

For those who are new to the J-Files Case Series, please read this first.

Agent-66 attended the Secret Agent Meeting (SAM) when I first met her. She was collaborating with Agent Nadnut in their attempt to terminate Agent-J's nuts. Fortunately, their plan was foiled when they were ambushed at POD and Agent-66 lost all her balls.

Despite her defeat, her good showing was nonetheless held in high regards for after all, she was up against Agent-J, who is a very accomplished agent with few equals in his field. From that encounter, Agent-J was able to convert Agent-66 allegiance to G.I.L.A.. However, as per proper protocol, she must still be subjected to the required process of candidate screening. Hence the formality of this report.

SWOP Analysis

Agent-66's physical attributes in itself is a lethal weapon. The endless legs proved to be an effective weapon terminating enemy agents' nuts from an extended distance. She would have succeeded in her last attempt on Agent-J had the latter not had lightning-quick reflexes to dodge the attack.

Our labs also managed to obtain her vocal sample and it proved she is quite versatile with her ability to change her persona via her voice alone. A vocal chameleon if you would call it. While her vocal sample portrayed her as one persona, here is the transcript of her other persona with a simple manipulation of her voice.

Agent-66 has also shown her tenacity as far as the tolerance for alcohol is concerned and is able to drink her opponents under the table. However this aspect also proved to be her weakness which will be covered in the next section.

Agent-66 strength in the alcohol department also proved to be her weakness as she is prone to be overwhelmed, should the intensity of it go beyond her control. Even more so if green apples and/or chocolate are involved.

Speaking of chocolate, Agent-66 was successfully converted to G.I.L.A. with the help of Agent-Teuscher. The Swiss was too much of a temptation that Agent-66 crumbled without even a struggle. We will have to work on this when she reports for duty on Day 00.

Agent-66's secret weapon of assassination, the Tequila Chocolate Ball (TCB-12) backfired on her during the last assassination attempt resulting in the loss of all her balls.

Our labs experts reviewed that as a case-study and derived the following formula that summarises the case effectively:

Alcohol + Chocolate + Agent-66 = Gone

By far, a formidable chiobu of model-ish attributes. Agent-66 will blend well into embassies, consulates and other environments of high society. However given her apparently weakness in alcohol and chocolate, much field training is needed. Perhaps, we may have to include Poser Training Modules (PTM) for her at Thumper Academy and School of Balaclava.

- Voxeros

1. Jaschocolate left...
Wednesday, 28 December 2005 8:04 am
Haha.. Ur observation is very keen hor...

2. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 28 December 2005 9:19 am :: 
Jaschocolate: Which particular aspect are you referring to?

3. Agent 66 left...
Wednesday, 28 December 2005 9:29 am
when is the Poser Training Module going to start?
also hor
i didn't convert because of the chocolates

4. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 28 December 2005 9:44 am :: 
Agent-66: We are in the process of finalising your PTM training program but will not release to you in advance for security reasons.
Instead, you shall need to be on the alert at all times as activation is done via your mobile phone.

Upon hearing the activation code "小姐要不要做朋友?". You have 30 minutes to report for training.

This message will try to self destruct in 30 seconds.
Good luck Agent-66.

5. Agent 66 left...
Wednesday, 28 December 2005 9:59 am
Agent -J
Thanks for your message.
But what a weird activation code we have. I always receive this message too from other people. How?

6. nadnut left...
Wednesday, 28 December 2005 10:37 am
muahahahah! nice one!

7. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 28 December 2005 11:38 am ::
Agent-66: Thank you for your feedback. Perhaps we need to escalate this activation code to a higher bit encryption i.e. longer code.
Hence the new activation code shall be:
"小姐一个人啊? Ai gia stay-dee mai?"

8. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 28 December 2005 1:38 pm :: 
Nadnut: Your turn will come. Stay tuned for Friday.

9. Jaschocolate left...
Wednesday, 28 December 2005 1:47 pm
What a weird activation code.. :p Oh yeah, i was not referring to any particular aspect.. hee

10. agent akk left...
Thursday, 29 December 2005 11:02 am
hahahha...i heard the vocal sample siah....quite funny.

11. JayWalk left...
Thursday, 29 December 2005 1:23 pm :: 
Jaschocolate: Bor pian. Have to be very unique arh bor, people accidentally activate her and she rush to the appointed place and go ..
"Eh? Where's everybody?"

Agent-AKK: Yah. This Agent-66 got talent. We will have to encourage her to further develop this talent. More vocal samples, please!

12. Agent 66 left...
Thursday, 29 December 2005 9:11 pm
did i hear my name? hurhurhur

13. JayWalk left...
Friday, 30 December 2005 12:07 am :: 
Agent-66: But of course! You are my ang pai agent leh!

14. Agent 66 left...
Friday, 30 December 2005 5:14 pm
i don't think so lor
i just joined only.. not as good as the existing agents leh
:P still learning.. haha

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