28 March 2006

Jay-Prank Series (Part 2) - Jalan Kayu Mama Shop

Moving down the timeline and I would like to pause at the next stop - My NS Days.

If you have listened to my ill-fated one-episode only Ah Peng Kor series audio blog, the main character in that episode, Ah Teng, was also the main character in this prank.

Now Ah Teng was one kind of a character. During camp hours, we would be in our uniforms. Nothing special about that. Book-out time would be another story as we would all get out of our uniforms and change into civilian clothes, blending in with the public. Ah Teng, on the other hand, has another set of uniform when we book out for the weekends. He would always be wearing yellow polo t-shirt, blue jeans and a pair of white sneakers. Ask anyone and they would tell you that they have never seen Ah Teng in anything else. It was almost Ah Teng only have that 1 yellow polo, 1 jeans and 1 pair of sneakers to his name.

So anyway, there was this fateful day where we were given nights-off and the gang decided to go Jalan Kayu for prata and teh tarik. Those who knew me in real life would have noticed that Jalan Kayu was no where near as my camp was in Gombak.

Ah... but we had Ah Lim and his Toyota Carina to fit 6 guys at the very least.

Ok. Coming back to the story. We were there at Jalan Kayu happily tucking into our pratas when we saw a yellow figure walking past from across the street.

"Oi! Guys! Look there! Ah Teng leh!" exclaimed one of the guys.

We looked up and gave each other a knowing smile. Ah Teng was on his way to THE MAMA SHOP. Not just any mama shop, but THE MAMA SHOP.

Here's the thing for those who are in the know. There is this one particular mama shop there that sells prono mags and video tapes (yah lah... yah lah... I very old lah... it was a time before VCD and DVD lah. Happy now?). Apart from the usual Playb0y and Penth0use, they have those from HK as well.

Ah Lim didn't want to be part of our prank and so he went back to the car to wait for us while the rest of us stealthily followed behind Ah Teng.

True enough, he entered THE MAMA SHOP and we went in shortly after. THE MAMA SHOP, like any other mama shops, sold newspapers, magazines (legal ones), and sweets up front with provision shop stuff like milk powder, washing detergent etc. behind. Now the "happening stuff" were all at the back. The set up however was very spartan. Just a few plaid suitcases, that were quite popular among school kids back in the late 70s, scattered at random on the floor of the back room.

I guess with all the merchandise in suitcases, it makes for easy getaway via the back should there be a raid.

Again, coming back to the story, as we entered the back room quietly, there Ah Teng was squatting in front of one of the suitcases and flipping through the magazines. It was the suitcases with the HK magazines. No surprises there as Ah Teng is Ch1nese-educated and besides, the HK ones were cheaper.

Anyway, while Ah Teng was totally engrossed and oblivious to our presence, I mustered up my lowest voice and landed my hand hard on his shoulder, like how the police nabbed their crooks and said,

"Boy! You are under arrest! Please take out your IC!"

Poor Ah Teng was frightened out of his wits as he was totally shocked and paralysed for half a minute before his trembling hands reached for his wallet to get his ID card.

We only came face to face when he turned around to hand over his ID Card.

Now Ah Teng was quite a "slow-in-the-upstairs" guy and by the time he realised that it was all a prank, we were already out of the shop, sprinting towards Ah Lim's car.

What essentially next was 4 guys sprinting like mad towards a Toyota Carina parked across the street screaming:

"Ah Lim! Start the engine! Start the engine! Let's go! Let's go!"

And of course in the distance behind, a yellow-and-blue guy was giving chase like a raving lunatic.

It was quite a scene for the folks at the prata shop that day.

Ah Teng didn't talk to us for 2 weeks. :P

Bonus Material - A Little Ah Teng Episode

We were in camp hiding in one corner smoking and chatting.

JayWalk: Eh Alvin, I heard you clinched the Cambridge University scholarship. Congrats!

Alvin: Yeah thanks man. I will be flying up to UK right after I ROD.

Ah Teng: Eh. Cambridge not very good university right?

The Rest Of Us: ???

Ah Teng: Cambridge now only 3rd Division* niah.

The Rest Of Us:

* For the uninitiated non-football people, there is also a team, by the same name, in the English 3rd Division (back then) football league. 3rd division is essentially quite low in the league rankings. Big boys like Liverpool, ManUtd, etc. were in the 1st Division then. Ah Teng got the University and the Football Club confused. Bladdy Goondu.

- Voxeros

1. kim left...
Monday, 27 March 2006 1:26 pm
muahahaha.. you are sure evil lo. I thank my lucky stars I don't know you back then. And you aren't in Singapore often enough to play those pranks on me. Phew.

2. winter left...
Tuesday, 28 March 2006 12:29 am
ah teng reminds me of a friend who tried to show that's she's up-to-date
she told her friend to change his o2 phone because it was not as good as her nokia 7610
i went huh??
then i realised that she didn't know the phone value at all

3. JayWalk left...
Tuesday, 28 March 2006 1:20 am :: 
winter: Just like this Ch1na guy, who claimed to be very well-traveled, trying to teach me how to eat garlic bread.... with strawberry jam!!
Needless to say, that was the last time I saw him.

4. winter left...
Tuesday, 28 March 2006 9:12 am
garlic bread with JAM???????!!!!!!!!
tat's so silly

5. JayWalk left...
Tuesday, 28 March 2006 10:49 am :: 
winter: Was totally pissed off when he acted as if he was some kind of an authority in the culinary arts of the western world.
For f*ck's sake, how cultured you want? We were in a bladdy steakhouse!

6. akk left...
Wednesday, 29 March 2006 3:11 pm
hhahahaha... in this scenario, I'd probably join him and we'll both browse and help find the good ones, hahaha.

7. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 29 March 2006 3:36 pm :: 
Akk: Er... but... but... the MAMA Shop don't sell TOYS leh.....

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