31 May 2005

Five Questions - The Difficult 5

Well, WonkyTong sent me the initial 5 questions and I lamented that they were too easy. Alas, it is time for that foot-in-the-mouth moment again as these next 5 proved to be more challenging as I actually needed to engage the grey matter. Anyway, here goes...

1. You're married, so how do you deal with women who hit on you? 

me? That would be my initial reaction for such flattering attention. I am at best, a pretty ordinary bloke who probably has a slightly above average nose for mischief. Other than that, I can't really see what I have to offer. I am neither hunky nor do I have a cute butt. (I can't really tell, can I?)

Not that I have a LOT of women hitting on me (You'll need my friend Bionicman to assist you in that department), and so I guess most of it is just merely day-dreaming/fantasising on my part.

So if hypothetically speaking if I kena hit, perhaps my first reaction is to find out more about this person. Should I run for the hills? Should I elope? Or should I take a position somewhere in between? The worst extreme case would be ala Fatal Attraction where the pet rabbit gets cooked.

Like the question stated, I am married and so my options are pretty much limited. However, I do tend to look for the silver lining, if any. Is there a friendship out of this? The fact that she is interested means that she does not think that you are a f*cking arrogant bastard/arsehole (phew!). Perhaps, the opposite party is one with a heart of gold but with a misplaced direction of affection? Can we channel this energy into a good friendship/companionship? I would certainly like to hope so.

2. You're allowed only 3 items to help you survive in an isolated island, what would they be?

Am going to really think hard about this one. First would be the cleaver. By far, the most perfect knife that I can think of. It is tough enough to be a parang for bashing through the woods and yet delicate enough to be able to peel a fruit. The cleaver, in fact, is more than just a knife. The butt of the handle can be used as a hammer/mallet, the back of the blade can be use as a crusher, the side of the blade can be used as a shovel. The options are limitless. The blade itself, other than cutting, can also be used to descale a fish or in one of WonkyTong's earlier blog, her Ah Ma used it as a screwdriver. The swiss-army knife would pale in comparison. Yah, try defending yourself against a wild boar with the pathetic Victorinox. Hah!

Second would be a companion. I guess I can't really classify a person as an item but I'm just going to bend the rules here anyway. Perhaps the most difficult thing to handle here is loneliness and probably the very same reason Chuck Nolan (Tom Hanks) created "Mr Wilson" in the movie "Cast Away". Getting stranded on a deserted island may not be a bad thing. For one, you actually get to be away from the hectic hustle and bustle of modern life. It could just be a good thing to break away from the slavery of our work. So, wouldn't it be nice if there is someone to share this new found peace and joy?

Lastly, an unlimited supply of pencil and paper. A journal would be a good thing to keep a record of the events and happenings on the island. If I am rescued before I die, then the journal would make an excellent material reference for my book or better still, movie. If they find the journal after I am gone, then at least there is something there to tell my story.

What 3 items I definitely won't bring with me.
  • Underwater hair dryer
  • Solar torchlight
  • Fireproof matchsticks

3. What would you do to win a woman's heart?

I think the secret to winning a woman's heart is to know what she wants.

How do you find out what she wants?

Just shut up and listen.

Open your ears, open your mind, open your eyes. Observe the body language on top of the verbal ones. Read between the lines, interpret the sarcasm, reverse the reverse-psychology. Pay attention to details, make an effort to get to know the stuff that is important to her.

Then there is also the magic of touch. Touch her fingers. Smell her hair. Kiss her lips. Breathe down her neck, nibble her ear, hold her hand...

Well, I never said it is going to be easy...

4. What is the funniest prank you have ever played?
Not to sound like a brag but I have so many pranks that I can't really put my finger on just one and call it my best work ever.

Anyway, it would be fun to just reminisce about one here.

It was back during my freshman year in NTU. Back then there was only one canteen in the school building as the South Spine was still under construction. Lunch time was a big headache as the place was obviously inadequate as far as accommodating the 3 engineering faculties as well as the accountancy and business faculties. There may be seats scattered here and there but it was quite difficult to find a space that could accommodate us all since the "gang" lunches together as a motley group.

The "law of the jungle" in campus is that when you've have gotten a seat, you place your file/bag on the seat to "chope" it and then you go to the stalls to get your food.

A stroke of genius hit me that day as I rounded up a couple of buddies with me to go hunting.... for tables. My logic was that while there was no question about the seats being reserved with the placement of a bag or any other article of personal effect, the same rule should also be applied to tables as well. So there we were, to the shock and astonishment of the people around, we took the "unreserved" tables leaving the "reserved" seats behind. Once we've gotten the table, the rest was a cakewalk as it was fairly easy to grab the odd chair here and there to fill the table.

That was how Deek got to know me in NTU as he witnessed the helpless and baffled students when they returned to their seats with their food but no table. Accounting to his account, some of them had to resort to eating with their trays on their laps. I am so going to hell for that.

5. How has your stay in Ch1na affect your opinion of Singapore?

Surprised? More like enlightened shock. Not at the culture shock but rather how myopic I was, had I not had the opportunity to venture outside our little red dot.

Before Ch1na, I was a beaming Singaporean taking extreme pride in our "achievements" e.g. busiest port, bestest airline, bestest airport etc. There was a sense of arrogance when snootily looking at our poorer neighbours. I felt a sense of self importance, I felt that we deserved the non-permanent seat on the UN Security Council.

That was before I ventured into Ch1na and the US of A and later realised how insignificant our achievements were. So, we have the busiest port in the world but really the bulk of it was merely the recorded volume of transshipment. If you want to see big outgoing volume, look at Ch1na. If you want to see big incoming volume, look at USA. And how do we compare standing right next to them? You don't want to know my answer. Really. You don't.

It was a humbling lesson to learn what we originally regarded as big, only to turned out molecular in the real world out there.

Let me cite an example of a company that I know personally. Back in day when it was still feasible to operate a factory in Singapore, the bubbly would be popped and a milestone marked, if they were to ship more than 10 containers in a month. Today in Ch1na, if they pushed less then 100 containers out a month, somebody was sure to get fired.

On another note, we pride ourselves has having one of the top education system in the region and that we could go ahead further and export the "Singapore Branding" of education to other countries. We often find ourselves comparing against Hong Kong and always come away happy that ours is "better" than theirs. What people of Singapore don't realised is that our current education system is so good that we churn out perfect employees. Where are the entrepreneurs? Where is the creativity? Where are the ideas? Sadly, they have all been left behind as early as our Primary 3 streaming exams.

The Official Interview Game Rules
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. Each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Image Credit:

- Voxeros

1. a reader left...
Wednesday, 1 June 2005 3:27 am
I knew you are a prankster. But didn't know that you don't like to be alone ... Oh ya, I forgot I'm a hermit. I can survive by myself.
2. JayWalk left...
Wednesday, 1 June 2005 3:33 am
Granted that you may be a hermit now but I am sure you would have preferred otherwise.

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